Slap Happy

I'm a little irate with the Slap Chop guy. Fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini....what IS that?!?!?!? Between the verbal diarrhea, the eyebrow olympics and the slimy salesman sneer - I mean smile - (to which I always mentally add a little cartoon sparkle on the teeth, not unlike the ones they use to enhance shots of the product in the commercial), I am ready to slap and chop HIS ass...is that wrong to say? I mean seriously, "you're gonna love my nuts"??? Does no one edit these things? Anyway, that's my rant for this morning. Not exactly mind-shattering stuff, but that's it. Eventually my brain will function again...