Monday, April 25, 2016

A New Journey

I wonder if anyone even drops by to read my humble, neglected blog anymore? Perhaps the odd person who happens upon it by accident. Perhaps the odd reader who still "follows" me and sees an interesting blurb now and then. Who knows? In any event, I feel the urge to write again today. It would seem I've reached a new milestone in this life - that of mommy-to-be. I won't say it was completely unexpected, but it was still a bit of a shock and took me totally off guard. I anticipated months of "trying" before we conceived, but it was completely the opposite. Once. One time without taking any kind of precautions, and ba-bam! Crazy. I've been digesting the news for a few weeks now and we've let our families and some close friends in on the precious secret, but we have yet to tell the world at large. Superstition, I suppose, the fear that we will somehow jinx it or that something will happen and it will be public knowledge...or maybe we just want to keep this knowledge to the "inner circle" for a little while longer. I do realize that this is a public forum, but since I have kept myself rather anonymous here, it feels safe to divulge the information to any potential readers. 

So, yeah, steep learning curve at the moment and even higher ones ahead for the foreseeable future. Now that the initial denial and anxiety and stress have somewhat abated, I am able to breathe and be hopeful, happy, and full of awe and wonder. Let's not kid ourselves, the stress is still there - I'm just able to look past the worry most days at this point and focus on the gift that we have been given. I get the sense that a new life is beginning (a new phase, at the very least, for sure) and I pray that everything works out OK. Better than OK. Perhaps creating another life will be the catalyst to making changes in my own...changes I've been dragging my heels over for months and years due to indecision and fear and lack of direction. At least, that is among my hopes for where all of this is headed. A new direction, indeed. It's hard to fathom some days how much my life has changed in the past 14 months. Onward, we go!