The Other Black Dog

So...Unofficial Boyfriend? He has a dog. And some cats. The dog is massive and black and I am not comfortable with him. This makes me sad. I am not a pet person. I was not raised with pets, nor have I had any of my own, save some fish for a year or so in British Columbia. It's not that I don't like animals...I am just not used to them and they make me nervous - sometimes to the point of being scared.  big black barks (though not often) and my heart jumps out of my chest at the thunderous sound; he playfully nips at me and I envision losing digits in those powerful jaws; he gets in my space or stares at me and I freeze and panic...and it's not like he is baring his teeth and growling at me or anything...I just fear that he will pounce at some point, and I am sure he senses my unease and this makes things worse between us. Unofficial Boyfriend has been very good about putting himself between big black and me when he senses my discomfort and telling the dog "no" and "off" and "down" when necessary. He has talked to me about big black's friendly manner and about how he's not going to hurt me. He has told me to give big black commands when I don't like something. But I don't trust big black and I am self-conscious about interacting with him in front of Unofficial Boyfriend because I feel inadequate in that way...even though I'm pretty sure big black is mostly just curious about this new person who has shown up in his space a couple of times, monopolizing his master's attention.

However, I don't think the situation is hopeless. My brother has a dog and I love her. In fact, I bring her for walks, I've slept with her on the bed beside me, and I even dog sat for ten days last summer. Half the time when I visit my brother's it's to see his dog! But we met when she was a puppy and she's an extremely mild mannered Shih Tzu, so she's not ever going to be huge and intimidating. I'm not a fan of fur and some other things that come with having pets, but I'm sure I could deal with that if black beast and I could become friends. I actually spent part of my night last night Googling episodes of The Dog Whisperer, trying to figure out how I am going to overcome this. How I am going to be able to walk into Unofficial Boyfriend's house without the fear of being somehow attacked, or be alone in a room with big black someday and be perfectly OK without the protection of Unofficial Boyfriend...how I am going to be able to hear his different snorts and moans and play growls without thinking he is plotting how best to get rid of me.

The cats are another matter entirely...I'm not even ready to go there. I haven't met them yet, nor do I really wish to. I tolerate my friends' cats and would never wish them any harm, but I cannot say I have any particular kind of affection for them or enjoy their company overmuch. They can be entertaining to watch, I suppose, but that is about the extent of it. I am allergic as well. This could pose problems. Yet, having said that, the pet situation is the only thing that Unofficial Boyfriend and I are concerned about and we are so far open to working on it together somehow.

Score!

The play I auditioned for? I got offered the lead female role. The choir audition I went to tonight? Success. Very much. And I am now their newest member. I also worked yesterday and today. Yep, all in all it's good to be me right now. So much so that I can grin and bear the burning discomfort I am experiencing right now due to an allergic reaction to a new facial moisturizer I decided to try (which had rave reviews online...but apparently not everyone needs to live in a bubble like me).

Psychics, Comedians, and Fairs

Happily, yesterday was great. My girl and I spent it together and packed it with fun stuff. We started by visiting a psychic (who was adamant I will marry once and have a child or two, among other things, so perhaps there's still an out from spinsterhood at some point, who knows...). I'm not sure if I buy into that stuff or not, but it's entertaining either way and it kind of does give you something to hang on to and look forward to (provided you are told what you wanted to hear, which I mostly was). The BFF got a good reading as well. Thankfully the guy verified what I've been telling her for months - that her ex wasn't good for her and the best thing she ever did was finally walk away from him. Hallelujah. I might have had some real trouble on my hands if he had said otherwise!

Following that, we went back to her pad to regroup and then took ourselves to Yuk Yuk's for dinner and live comedy. I had the pasta, she had the chicken, and we both topped it off with the cheesecake and a cup of tea (proper party animals, aren't we?). The food wasn't great, but it was OK. I'd recommend the chicken over the pasta I think. She joked that she's sick of looking like a lesbian out in public with me. Let's just say we spend a lot of time together and there have been a few incidents that could have been misconstrued by onlookers...comments taken out of context, tasting each other's food and whatnot. It's a huge inside joke at this point. Might as well laugh! Speaking of laughter...the Yuk Yuk's comedy lineup?...well...not exactly hilarious, but the comics (host Dave Martin and hometown girl Lisa Baker) had their moments and I did laugh quite a bit at some of the headliner, Stephen Patterson's, bits.

After a brief foray into Chapters to peruse the shelves, we decided to go for a drive. I happened to notice lights in the Zellers parking lot on Stavanger and we popped in to jump on a couple of rides at Thomas Amusements. The Catch N Air was decent (lots of laughs punctuated with bursts of screams, mostly from moi, as we realized someone was filming as the ride went by and also that we were probably overdressed for the fair and very likely the oldest customers on the premises), but the Tornado (although we got to enjoy it solo to romantic music playing - what more could you ask?) was rather underwhelming.

The one bad point is that, unfortunately, a few couples came in and sat in the seats directly below us. Why was that bad? Well, because they all (the females especially) apparently deemed it necessary to bathe in perfume and cologne before heading out for the evening. This means that, despite popping allergy pills at the first onslaught and afterwards, I suffered for the rest of the night and continue to suffer today. My nose was running, my throat got all scratchy and irritated, my skin was itching, my voice has been coming and going, I developed a headache, my sinuses are now stuffed, and I've been coughing off and on. Lovely. I just got over the flu and I'm sick again. Most pleasant. Is it that people still remain uneducated about or unaware of this stuff or just that they don't give a shit what effect it has on others? Sigh....so hard not to be bitter and harbour an intense dislike and resentment of these random perpetrators...I will say that the thought, "Thanks for making me sick assholes!" has crossed my mind....I know, I know...people have a right to wear whatever fragrances they like yadda yadda...but I have a right to go to public places as well and hopefully be able to enjoy myself in comfort, do I not? I have been in these situations before and either changed seats or left the venue, but I paid a little more than I'd like to have to up and leave without seeing the show and there weren't any other seats we could move to, so that wasn't an option. I dunno...I think a person's right to be well outweighs someones wanting to smell like a chemical factory...and at the very least, do you really need people to be able to smell you that far away??? Then again, I'm obviously biased. Either way, I seriously hope one day they find out firsthand what it's like to be bombarded by things out of your control that make you ill.

Homemade Solutions

I am sitting here with globs of oatmeal drying onto my face and thought I would share some quick all-natural "recipes" while I wait to go rinse it off. Let's start with what I am wearing...


For the face:

Honey Oat Scrub/Mask

If you mix together about 1/4 cup of rolled oats, 1 tbsp honey and 1 tbsp milk (give or take), you can use it as a facial scrub or apply it and leave it on until it dries to get the benefits of a mask. Personally, I start with the scrub and then put a fresh coat on and use it as a mask. It really works!


Here's one for the body:

Bath Salt (from 1001 Natural Remedies)

Combine the following:
1/2 cup Epsom salts
1/2 cup sea salt
1/2 cup baking soda
1/2 cup borax

Use 4-8 tbsp in a warm bath to relax and purify (I like to add about 1/2 dozen drops of lavender and tea tree or eucalyptus essential oils* as well).

* I have ranted on here before about my chemical/scent sensitivities. Interestingly enough, although I still cannot handle those that are particularly pungent, most essential oils do not seem to bother me. Perhaps due to the lack of chemicals?

And for the home:

Sink and Tub Cleanser (from 1001 Natural Remedies)

1/3 cup baking soda
1/3 cup borax
1 tsp natural liquid dishwashing soap (I use Nature Clean's all purpose cleaning lotion in my cleaners)
5 drops lavender essential oil
5 drops eucalyptus essential oil

Try 'em out and see what you think!

Out of Commission/The Big Move

I am currently sitting in a hotel room, taking advantage of their complimentary Internet service on my laptop while I wait for my recently indispensible BlackBerry and iPod to both charge. Since our recent move, I have had time to contemplate society's in general and my in particular reliance on modern communication and media devices. In short, the cable and phone companies have been slacking and we still don't have a home phone, Internet, or cable at our new apartment and I have been majorly feeling the isolation.

Let me backtrack a bit, because the move itself is worthy of description.

We moved into our old apartment after arriving in town and spending three nights in a motel with a U-Haul in the parking lot, scouring the place for rentals during the days and coming up empty. Finally, on the third day, one of the buildings we had contacted notified us that a couple who had applied to live there had been turned down during the screening process and they now had one unit available if we wished to rent it (there was apparently a wait list that she decided to let us bypass due to our dire circumstances and the fact that I was due to start work the following day). Our apartment wasn't bad, but we essentially moved in out of desperation for a place to live and we weren't really sold on it from the start. It is on the third floor of the building, but due to the surrounding landscape, felt more rather basement/jail-esque. In the summer there were far too many bugs and no balcony to grill on and in the winter there was too much moisture (and, we discovered, mold cropping up underneath the paint that we surmise had been slathered over it prior to our move in unbeknownst to us, and despite the steps we took to fight it afterwards) and no sunlight. We had been wanting to move out of there since the first year, but the timing was never quite right. When there were apartments and houses available for rent, we lacked either the time or the money to relocate and when we had time and money, there was nothing available to rent again. This went on for three long years until finally, this fall, we had truly come to the end of our ropes and decided we had had enough. We viewed three other apartments in our complex and chose the one we just moved into as the best available and agreed to take the plunge. No matter that we have no idea how long we will be residing here, the tenancy is month to month and I, for one, had no intention of spending another month in that mold infested dungeon if I could at all prevent it. And so it began.

We paid our damage deposit around the middle of the month and slowly began moving our belongings to our new digs. We thought we were doing great and that it would be a relatively easy move given the time frame in which we had to accomplish it and that we were only moving to another unit in our current building. However, towards the end of November, that view began to change. We both had prior extra-curricular commitments to honour and the countdown was on. Come the last weekend of the month, it was panic city for me (I tend to be a little more prone to stress than my partner). So, on Saturday night, in the midst of the hockey tournament, social outing, and volunteering we were engaged in, I realized that we had not checked the mail on Friday. I went downstairs in a break from packing and toting stuff and found an envelope from the landlady informing us that, after we had removed our possessions and cleaned the apartment as per the checklist we were given, we were booked to do a walk-through of our old apartment upon check out at 1pm on November 30th and that, if this was not convenient, we were to contact her and schedule a time prior to then.

This was news to me. firstly, I had received no check list, and secondly, I was under the impression that we had the whole of the 30th to finish everything. Then of course there was the matter of work. How were we to meet with her and walk through when we were both working at that time? My initial reaction was, as I said, panic. How on earth were we going to meet the new deadline with all the crap on our plates? Then I sprung into action and got a checklist from the lady who works weekends and busted my ass to do more packing. When my partner got home, I informed him of the new developments and the next day I continued on while he played hockey. When he got home the two of us slugged all our remaining stuff to the new apartment and then finished gutting and scrubbing the place from top to bottom to ensure we got our damage deposit back.

We bought chemical cleaners with the hopes of cutting down on cleaning time. Big mistake. As a result of exposrue to them, I got sick. After a very long night (it took longer than we expected to finish the move and the final cleaning, etc.) the two of us walked down the hall dragging the last of our gear, picked our way through the rubble and collapsed into bed. The next day, I went to work and was exposed to a bunch of dust when the new heating system was turned on for the first time and I've been sick ever since. The up side is that gives me lots of time to be unpacking. The downside is I'm sick and I don't want to be unpacking or crawling over crap all day long (nor looking at it either). And I have no means of contact with the outside world except my BlackBerry...it and the company of my iPod being my only sources of entertainment as well.

Anyway, we have to finish unpacking and putting stuff away over the next few days and then dig out the holiday decorations. I am hoping I will be feeling well soon.

All Shot Up

I've taken a little bit of an unplanned hiatus from my newborn blog - mostly due to lack of inspiration and tiredness. However, I ventured out today to get vaccinated and am returning with lots of blog fodder.

Here is a rundown of my experience:

Arrived at clinic site at approximately 9:20 am, read the sign stating eligibility criteria and walked to the end of the line. Senses promptly assaulted by the scent of very overpowering perfume. Attempted to put some space between myself and said smell to alleviate negative allergic reactions without losing my spot.

9:25ish saw an elderly lady walk out of the clinic and inform her husband (standing in front of me) that he is not eligible for the vaccine today because he is over 65 - no matter that he is diabetic, as long as he has gotten his seasonal flu shot already - and that they turned her away after an hour wait.

9:45ish witnessed a lady with a young boy park her truck and jump into the lineup about 3 people ahead of me next to a lady she apparently knew, followed by the man who had been conversing with the elderly gentleman who left with his wife now shuffling to a place further up the line.

Around 10:00, listened as the woman in front of me called over a health care worker and asked if he could tell her who was eligible for the clinic today and what shot was being offered.

10:15ish, two people proceeded to light cigarettes and smoke while standing in line (one of whom was the same lady the one with the kid had went to stand beside). Saw a man come over and ask the health care worker at the entrance if people over 65 were allowed to get inoculated today, as that was what he heard at the coffee shop this morning.

10:30ish, entered the building, read the sign requesting that clients have their Care Cards ready, and was entertained by a group of obviously extroverted mothers who were chasing their toddlers around and hollering at them, basking in the attention they were generating. Watched a nurse doling out shots to moms and kids and mentally gave her a pat on the back for the job she was doing and being able to stand up to all the crying with a smile. Coughed into my sleeve a few times after running out of Bentasil and noticed various nervous glances being shot my way accompanied by expressions informing me that I was a pariah in their midst.

Moved to the registration table, handed over my Care Card, and assured the lady doing the paper work that I have asthma and was advised by my doctor to show up and get both vaccines. Continued on to the seating section with my papers in hand and was hustled into the second row of chairs. Shuffled over several times as seats became vacant until I reached the end of the row and was pointed in the direction of a free injection station. Informed the nurse that I am already sick and had a fever last night, answered some questions, told her I had an allergy shot in my left arm yesterday and am scheduled for one in my right arm Monday, and listened as she told me that the H1N1 shot would hurt less going in but that the flu shot shouldn't make my arm as sore afterwards and to be prepared to get sicker before I get better (which I was expecting anyway but which still wasn't good to hear considering last night's fever was already an uncomfortable and scary 102.4 degrees).

11:00 The main event! Got jabbed in both arms, and then directed to another seating section and told to wait 15 minutes to make sure I was OK before leaving. Overheard an elderly lady speaking with a health care worker who was telling her that she is not eligible for the shot today, asking whether she was already informed of that by the workers patrolling the lineup outside, and that no, there were no exceptions being made. Left the clinic at 11:15 and drove home.

And now, the commentary/rant...

1. I cannot believe how inconsiderate some people are. Who in their right mind shows up at a vaccination clinic coated in perfume to stand in line with a bunch of asthmatics? Hello! Great way to set everyone coughing and rushing for their inhalers! Likewise to the smokers...lighting up in the midst of a group of people with lung issues as well as young children and infants. Smart. Thanks for that. Not to mention the couple who came out with their son, who was upset and had been crying after getting vaccinated, put him in their car and stood around smoking. When he tapped on the window and asked for a drink, the father replied "You can have a drink after. Dad is having a 'moke first." Good of them to not smoke in the vehicle with him for sure, but I was still a little put off by the display and thinking perhaps they had gotten their priorities mixed up a little along the way.

2. How is it that we expect children to abide by the unwritten rules of lining up and yet there are adults out there who still have not mastered the concept. Rude and bursting with self-importance and a false sense of entitlement much? What makes you any more special than the rest of us out there freezing our butts off that you think you can just prance on up to any place in line you feel like standing?

3. Why do people not read signs? They are not plastered all over the place to pretty things up, people! Conversely, the first time I saw anything about Care Cards was once I was inside the building. While it is probably a no-brainer anyways, prior signage wouldn't hurt - as I did hear some people say they had forgotten theirs, and I had to check and make sure I had mine at that point as well...

4. Why would you show up at a vaccination clinic and stand in line if you don't even know which shot is being offered? Wouldn't it make more sense to find that out FIRST? Or at the very least, ask someone when you arrived (like the man from the coffee shop who was using his brain)? Ditto for the people who ignored the signs and the patrolling workers only to get inside and be rejected.

5. What is the need of purposely making a public spectacle of yourself outside of the expected venues? Much as it provides entertainment, it does tend to become a tad obnoxious and annoying after a while...

6. Kudos to the nurses shooting up the infants and toddlers. Don't think I could do it. I did notice though that most of the infants didn't bat an eyelash, versus those who were older who almost all bawled. Makes me think that perhaps it is a chain reaction for the ones who are old enough to understand...one cries, scares the others, and sets them all off when it is their turn.

7. I feel bad for showing up sick and needing to cough...but honestly I hadn't coughed this morning and probably would have been coughing from the perfume anyway even if I wasn't sick...and I DID use my sleeve. Perhaps people would have felt better if I had been wearing a mask, like a couple of other people I saw at the clinic? Although I have a hunch those masks were more about protecting themselves from airborne viruses than those around them...

8. I am relieved and glad that I didn't have to endure one of the horror stories that have been on the news lately in relation to flu clinics. I was kind of worried and not sure what to expect when I left the apartment this morning, but I thought it was relatively quick, efficient, and painless - minus the other people who showed up and caused some irritation and discomfort but that had nothing to do with the people running the clinic....although I do wonder if there are/will be rules around smoking and scents at these sorts of things. It would make sense, if you ask me...

I am starting to question my own sanity injecting all this crap into my body and I am really hoping I made the right choice getting these two shots today. Part of me was thinking I should really hold off until I was better and maybe go for it then. There was also an odd mixture of thoughts and images floating through my mind at various points as I watched and waited. Predominantly, I couldn't stop myself from thinking we were just like a bunch of cows being herded inside, treated, and then released into the holding pen before being sent out to pasture to graze again (I apologize if I used incorrect terminology or odd imagery there...I am not an expert on cows and pastures by any means, but I haven't quite been able to absorb, digest, process, and put my finger on what exactly I would compare it to what with the muddied thoughts and all from the various drugs and injections over the past couple of days...I probably shouldn't even be writing right now...God only knows what drivel I am spouting at the moment) and wondering if I was being smart and prudent or stupidly succumbing to what the fear-mongers have been shoving down my throat.

Anyway, the bottom line is that I am beginning to feel like a pincushion between this and the allergy shots and am not enjoying the sore arms and matching bruises, but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end...

A Visit to the Doctor's Office

Today I went to see my doctor for yet another in the series of allergy shots I have committed to getting over a three year period (previously discussed in "Scent Sensitive"). These shots have been designed to build my body's immunity to environmental allergies in the hopes that lessening its' burden will allow it to better cope with the ensuing reactions after coming into contact with certain unidentified chemicals and fragrances - for which there are no current treatments except avoidance since there are so many thousands of them used (go here for an indication http://www.ewg.org/chemindex/list) in such a plethora of combinations that allergy treatments targeting them specifically are deemed impossible at this point. Check these out for an idea of the effects of some of those toxins and information on how to minimize exposure to them (should've included them in the previous rant I suppose, but that's it)...
http://www.ewg.org/newsclip/Saving-Face-How-Safe-Are-Cosmetics-and-Body-Care-Products+
http://www.ewg.org/node/27721
http://www.ewg.org/node/27718
http://www.ewg.org/reports/pbdesintoddlers
http://www.ewg.org/node/17286
http://www.multiplechemicalsensitivity.org/
http://www.scentfree.ca/
http://www.nb.lung.ca/html/Programs/Indoor_Air_Quality/index.htm
http://www.nb.lung.ca/html/Childcare/daycare/English/2.AirQuality/Scents.pdf

....alas, I digress....

Something quite different was brought to my attention when I reported to the receptionist today...it seems the waiting room has now become a segregated space: flu patients on one side and non-flu patients on the other. In addition, the waiting room is now adorned with several strategically placed large pump bottles of hand sanitizer, accompanied by signs advising that they should be used. During my wait, I also noticed that one of the patients sitting on the "flu" side was sporting a mask over his mouth - I can only assume he was doing his best to avoid infecting anyone else with a possible case of H1N1...? Thoughtful, to be sure, but also more excessive than anything I have previously encountered.

Speaking of H1N1, I let you in on my dirty little secret yesterday: I haven't made up my mind whether or not to get vaccinated - GASP! Anyway, I figured I would capitalize on the opportunity presented to converse with my doctor on said subject while she was sticking a different needle in my arm. In a nutshell, she agrees that there is a lot of hype, she says people are scared because H1N1 is unpredictable (you may experience mild symptoms only and get better on your own, but it has also been known to kill otherwise healthy individuals that would not have been expected to react so violently to the virus). She advised me that there are cases in our city and that people have been hospitalized for it. She said that if the regular flu shot doesn't bother me then this one shouldn't either, as it is prepared in the same way, recommended that I get it, and informed me that she and her children would all be getting vaccinated (if that made me feel any better). Which makes me wonder, why is it that the online poll conducted by the local paper found that, of 174 votes, 59% are NOT planning on getting the vaccine while 40% say they will? And then there are statements like these on the BC government's website claiming that the "safety [of the vaccines] will be carefully monitored during their use in Canada and internationally" - gotta observe the scientific method after all; observe and report on those guinea pigs! - and that of the two varieties available, only one is recommended for pregnant women. Why is that? What makes it OK for the rest of us if it is not OK for them?

I left the doctor's office still feeling uncertain and hesitant and I'm not sure why....but I did take a squirt of that sanitizer on the way out just in case ;)

Scent Sensitive

I am currently suffering from yet another one of the sinus infections that have plagued me since moving to my current location. Did I ever have them before coming west? Yes. Yes I did. Did I have them as often or to such a bad degree? By and large, no - I did not. What appears to be the culprit? Well, as far as I can tell they are mostly due to the repeated exacerbation of my allergies, which creates an overload on my immune system and in turn results in one of these nasty little episodes. I won't bother grossing you out with the details, but suffice it to say it ain't pretty and it ain't fun.

On the surface, I suppose I could blame some of these symptoms on my exposure to the daily allergens I come in contact with...namely, "western trees and grasses (whatever that is supposed to encompass), dust, and mold." However, pollen levels vary and dust and mold are not ever-present in levels that would cause my body to go into meltdown mode. Perhaps if I was under stress at the time my immune system would be compromised that could be a contributing factor...And I have also blamed the air quality in my present locale, as it is definitely not the stuff of pristine wilderness.

But I am inside this body and have realized that it reacts rather strongly and rather quickly to a multitude of scents...specifically, the chemicals used to create those scents. I am not sure if I am becoming more sensitive as I get older or if I am just subjected to more irritants out here than I was back home and my system can't handle it anymore. Either way, it can be hellish.

It can happen anywhere, at any time. Much as I practice making decisions to protect myself in my immediate surroundings (i.e. at home or in my specific work environment to the best of my ability), I cannot control what I come into contact with during any given day. It is extremely frustrating. I have had to change seats during plays, leave movie theatres frantically searching for my inhaler (yeah I have asthma, too, which is also sometimes affected), run out of stores gasping for air, and avoid certain cashiers when I shop for groceries, among countless other inconveniences. And much of a nuisance as that is, and as embarrassing as it is for me to have to go to those measures for my own comfort and safety, I can somewhat understand. Obviously in our society I will never be free of every dangerous and allergy-inducing chemical known to man.

What I can't understand is having to deal with it in the workplace...which I do, on a continual basis. To my knowledge, quite a few work places back on The Rock have become scent free in recent years. I was under the impression that this was the case nationwide. Not so. At my last job, I questioned the scent policy and was told that it was the decision of each particular workforce to decide whether or not their building was scent free in this area and that, while my boss sympathized with my situation, he was not inclined to implement a policy for all employees as a solution (which left me feeling rather slighted in comparison to those with peanut or other allergies, which are taken more seriously - and yes, I do realize that some of those are life threatening. However, asthma can be too and while I am not afflicted with a condition that severe, who is to say there aren't others who are? And while I am on this side rant, if the airlines can stop serving peanuts then why can't they restrict passengers' use of scent? Isn't it the same premise? Prevent anaphylactic shock vs. prevent potentially life threatening asthma attack...I dunno, seems rational to me...). Alas, I had no other option but to single myself out as the lone shit disturber and start bringing it up at meetings and requesting some changes on my own (with my employer's support).

I resorted to this after being forced to take countless sick days due to my encounters with people, products, and objects of the scented variety while at work. And was it effective? No, ladies and gentlemen, it was not. While there was, eventually, some effort put into limiting workplace scents for my benefit (not to mention everyone elses, whether they realized it or not) by certain individuals, I was also promoted to the position of scratch and sniff lady, expected to test and pass judgment on their chosen scents. I'm sure they meant well, but seriously, what an awkward position to be put in and a surefire way to make myself a bigger target - and sick, to boot.

Now I am in a casual position which requires me to work in a few different buildings - and guess what? Most of them are not scent free either. Which means I am breathing in a different set of floating chemical cocktails from cleaners and personal care products all day long nearly every day, with no control over or protection from what I am exposed to. It's becoming quite annoying as well, because I can usually feel within a few minutes (sometimes less if I experience a more violent reaction) whether or not I'm going to be OK in a given place. But, like anyone else, when I am scheduled to be somewhere for the day, I have no choice but to stay there and work it, regardless of my condition (unless of course, God forbid, I am unfortunate enough one day to have to be hospitalized or something I suppose).

Some days are great. Nothing triggers me and I am fine from the time I arrive until I get home. Most days, I come into contact with something somewhere that irritates my respiratory system in some way, shape or form, makes me nauseous, gives me a headache, or any other of a host of negative reactions. If I am lucky, it will be something that I can limit my exposure to, choosing to avoid it for the majority of the day, and hopefully not feel its effects too badly. If I am not, I usually suffer in silence for fear of injuring someones feelings, causing a scene, embarrassing myself, etc, etc, etc. And after a few of those days of becoming more and more impaired, my body hits full rebel mode and I am no longer a fully functioning human being capable of living my life normally and getting through the work day.

Like I said, I get it that I am probably going to be confronted with this every day for the rest of my life, but I am hoping it will lessen with time - perhaps society will change for the better, perhaps I will eventually build up an immunity, or whatever else would improve the situation. In the meantime, I can't help comparing the whole thing to the ongoing fight between smokers and non-smokers...Individuals have the right to choose whether or not they use/wear certain products and fragrances, just like individuals have the right to choose whether or not they smoke. The difference is, non-smokers have recognized rights and are winning the battle to keep themselves free from pollutants (i.e. second-hand smoke generated from smokers).

Smokers cannot smoke in or around public buildings, workplaces, or even in their own vehicle if they have child passengers...but as a person who is sensitive to scents and chemicals, I have no recourse much of the time. For the most part, there are no widespread laws governing the use of fragrance. It is everywhere...public washrooms, laundromats, theatres, restaurants.....While I don't think it is a crime to want to smell good nor do I wish to implement a worldwide ban, I think it would be nice to promote increased awareness and consideration at the very least. It might also be nice to put some more pressure on the industry responsible for creating these monstrosities and forcing them to adhere to more strict regulations...I bet a lot of people would be surprised to know that there are ingredients used in personal care products and cleaners in North America that have been banned in Europe....

I have to insert here that I do, obviously, have close connections (friends, relatives, coworkers) that utilize their free will to employ scented products and that's fine by me as long as I am not around. And God love 'em, they do make changes to their regular routines to accommodate my extreme sensitivity, which I absolutely do sincerely appreciate. Words cannot express how grateful I am for that - truly. I guess it's different when it's someone you know well, eh? Although you would think common courtesy would dictate better treatment to anyone -stranger or no...Anyway, I digress...the point is there ARE safer/less toxic alternatives out there and -seriously -clean, fresh, and well groomed does not have to equal slathered in chemicals (although there are chemical laden scent free options on the market, too if you prefer). There are so many natural products on the market nowadays - both scented and non - and a lot of simple, tried and true solutions as close as your kitchen when it comes to cleaning. Of course, what you choose to use in your own space is completely up to you and all the power to you to do as you please. However, bear in mind that there are many people out there who suffer as I do and I think we deserve the freedom to breathe easily and free of pollutants (i.e. airborne fragrance particles)just as much as everyone else when we are out in public, wouldn't you agree?