Psychics, Comedians, and Fairs

Happily, yesterday was great. My girl and I spent it together and packed it with fun stuff. We started by visiting a psychic (who was adamant I will marry once and have a child or two, among other things, so perhaps there's still an out from spinsterhood at some point, who knows...). I'm not sure if I buy into that stuff or not, but it's entertaining either way and it kind of does give you something to hang on to and look forward to (provided you are told what you wanted to hear, which I mostly was). The BFF got a good reading as well. Thankfully the guy verified what I've been telling her for months - that her ex wasn't good for her and the best thing she ever did was finally walk away from him. Hallelujah. I might have had some real trouble on my hands if he had said otherwise!

Following that, we went back to her pad to regroup and then took ourselves to Yuk Yuk's for dinner and live comedy. I had the pasta, she had the chicken, and we both topped it off with the cheesecake and a cup of tea (proper party animals, aren't we?). The food wasn't great, but it was OK. I'd recommend the chicken over the pasta I think. She joked that she's sick of looking like a lesbian out in public with me. Let's just say we spend a lot of time together and there have been a few incidents that could have been misconstrued by onlookers...comments taken out of context, tasting each other's food and whatnot. It's a huge inside joke at this point. Might as well laugh! Speaking of laughter...the Yuk Yuk's comedy lineup?...well...not exactly hilarious, but the comics (host Dave Martin and hometown girl Lisa Baker) had their moments and I did laugh quite a bit at some of the headliner, Stephen Patterson's, bits.

After a brief foray into Chapters to peruse the shelves, we decided to go for a drive. I happened to notice lights in the Zellers parking lot on Stavanger and we popped in to jump on a couple of rides at Thomas Amusements. The Catch N Air was decent (lots of laughs punctuated with bursts of screams, mostly from moi, as we realized someone was filming as the ride went by and also that we were probably overdressed for the fair and very likely the oldest customers on the premises), but the Tornado (although we got to enjoy it solo to romantic music playing - what more could you ask?) was rather underwhelming.

The one bad point is that, unfortunately, a few couples came in and sat in the seats directly below us. Why was that bad? Well, because they all (the females especially) apparently deemed it necessary to bathe in perfume and cologne before heading out for the evening. This means that, despite popping allergy pills at the first onslaught and afterwards, I suffered for the rest of the night and continue to suffer today. My nose was running, my throat got all scratchy and irritated, my skin was itching, my voice has been coming and going, I developed a headache, my sinuses are now stuffed, and I've been coughing off and on. Lovely. I just got over the flu and I'm sick again. Most pleasant. Is it that people still remain uneducated about or unaware of this stuff or just that they don't give a shit what effect it has on others? Sigh....so hard not to be bitter and harbour an intense dislike and resentment of these random perpetrators...I will say that the thought, "Thanks for making me sick assholes!" has crossed my mind....I know, I know...people have a right to wear whatever fragrances they like yadda yadda...but I have a right to go to public places as well and hopefully be able to enjoy myself in comfort, do I not? I have been in these situations before and either changed seats or left the venue, but I paid a little more than I'd like to have to up and leave without seeing the show and there weren't any other seats we could move to, so that wasn't an option. I dunno...I think a person's right to be well outweighs someones wanting to smell like a chemical factory...and at the very least, do you really need people to be able to smell you that far away??? Then again, I'm obviously biased. Either way, I seriously hope one day they find out firsthand what it's like to be bombarded by things out of your control that make you ill.

Another Rough Month

It has been yet another rough month so far. My grandfather passed away three days after my last post. I am glad he didn't suffer for an extended period of time, but it is still difficult to lose someone you love and it's a little hard to wrap your head around when it happens quickly. I had more of a part to play in the days afterwards than I've had in the aftermath of the deaths of other friends and family, and I have to say it is a whole new experience to have to take part in tying up the loose ends of someone's life and the arrangements that have to be made to finalize (for lack of a better word) their time on Earth instead of having to contend solely with thoughts and grief. Specifically, I was put in charge of proof reading the obituary, doing the "write up" for the church bulletin to be used at his funeral, reading a passage from the Bible at the funeral, helping to fill out the necessary financial paperwork for my grandmother, and writing the note of thanks to go in the newspaper. It was difficult, it was stressful, and it also gave me something to focus on to get through this time and feel useful.

I spent the weekend in St. John's apartment hunting again. I called/emailed about upwards of thirty apartments and ended up viewing only six. Of those six, two were what I would consider "dives," three were decent, and one was absolutely gorgeous. Although my heart was set on the "gorgeous" spot, I decided on one of the "decent" places (which was cheaper and therefore more practical), and the landlady said she would get back to me in a couple of days. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping it pans out...

Of course, I still don't have a job either which is becoming somewhat frustrating. I am, however, lucky enough to have awesome parents who (although it is incredibly embarrassing to have to ask for at this age) are willing to back me up until I can stand on my own two feet again. There are those who are of the opinion that it is stupid of me to look for a place to live before I have a job to pay for it, but I happen to think that once I am in town things will fall into place. I will have more time to look for employment and I will be in there already when it comes time to start...and as an added bonus I will have my own space once more and feel somewhat like an adult again. Besides, according to everyone I've talked to, apartments are scarce these days and the competition for them is fierce. Hence, wouldn't it make sense to focus my efforts there for the time being to make sure I have a place to live before everything is scooped up by the new group of students moving in for the fall semseter at MUN?

Anyway, I will stop babbling and trying to rationalize. I have a touch of cabin fever again today and it is only Monday yet so that is not a good sign...but the wind in the trees and the fresh air coming through my bedroom window sure are nice...

Perceptions and Time

So...in the smaller picture, the job and apartment hunting continue. I have to say, it feels rather a daunting task some days...and wow has rent ever gone up in St. John's in the past 5 years! I am trying to stay optimistic and am hoping to have something by July, so wish me luck!

In the bigger picture resides other, more serious and saddening, news: mortality has once again come knocking on my family's door. I know everyone has to go at some point, so to speak, and we all have to experience our times of difficulty as those left behind, but it never makes it any easier to face, does it? A dear friend of mine recently lost his uncle and my heart ached for him as he is away from home...I know how that feels, having gone through it myself a couple of years ago. However, little did I know I would be preparing for the same thing myself again so soon afterwards...

My stepfather's father - my last living grandfather (I have been blessed enough to have enjoyed three sets of living grandparents plus a couple of great-grandmothers in my life) - got sick shortly after I moved home. When his wife was finally able to convince him to go to the doctor (he is a very cranky, stubborn - yet lovable - old man), they were told it was pneumonia and he was prescribed medication for it. After three sets of antibiotics, things still were not improving much, and so he underwent more testing during a hospital stay to receive further treatment for his illness. A couple of weeks ago, we were told that he actually has cancer in both lungs. It was my understanding through conversations with family that the doctors predicted that he would have a few months to live, at the very least. That assessment has been changing rather rapidly and drastically...it was shortened to weeks, and now appears to be most likely a matter of only days.

Given that my grandfather was a heavy smoker (for somewhere in the neighbourhood of 60 years) and a diabetic (and never ever really took care of himself or altered his diet much), it didn't really come as a surprise that one day it would catch up with him. He himself took the news with a nonchalant, "well at least I got 77 years out of it," and I think he lived those 77 years the way he wanted to and enjoyed them. Which is kind of good, despite the not so good decisions he made for his health...but it didn't make it any easier to watch him go from a robust, crotchety, teasing, lively sort of man who wouldn't slow down or give in, to the man I saw before me when I visited his bedside yesterday evening inside a couple of weeks..or to see the toll it is taking on his wife of 51 years and their children - including my stepfather...and it doesn't make it any easier to realize that - very soon - we will all be saying goodbye...a fact which is only now starting to hit me as I am writing this. Odd how seeing it written in my own words on the screen makes it more real, somehow.

It's also strange how time plays such a huge role in our lives. Hours, days, weeks, months...they take on a whole new perspective and a whole new relevance depending on the matter at hand. A length of time can seem interminable or impossibly brief in relation to the events and emotions being experienced. Funny how that works.

I am glad that I am home right now - both to offer support and to be supported, but also so that I was able to spend some last moments with my grandfather while he was still his regular old self.

It's funny how when things unfold you can look back and see that they all fell into place a certain way for a reason and they start to make more sense. Not to say that I am only here because this was going to happen, but in retrospect, the events of the past year seem to have been part of a grand design - my move home being just a minuscule piece of the puzzle.

And thinking of all of these things makes the turmoil I've been experiencing trying to put my life back together seem so small and insignificant in comparison.

Yes, the imminence of death certainly has a way of putting everything back into perspective...

Out of Commission/The Big Move

I am currently sitting in a hotel room, taking advantage of their complimentary Internet service on my laptop while I wait for my recently indispensible BlackBerry and iPod to both charge. Since our recent move, I have had time to contemplate society's in general and my in particular reliance on modern communication and media devices. In short, the cable and phone companies have been slacking and we still don't have a home phone, Internet, or cable at our new apartment and I have been majorly feeling the isolation.

Let me backtrack a bit, because the move itself is worthy of description.

We moved into our old apartment after arriving in town and spending three nights in a motel with a U-Haul in the parking lot, scouring the place for rentals during the days and coming up empty. Finally, on the third day, one of the buildings we had contacted notified us that a couple who had applied to live there had been turned down during the screening process and they now had one unit available if we wished to rent it (there was apparently a wait list that she decided to let us bypass due to our dire circumstances and the fact that I was due to start work the following day). Our apartment wasn't bad, but we essentially moved in out of desperation for a place to live and we weren't really sold on it from the start. It is on the third floor of the building, but due to the surrounding landscape, felt more rather basement/jail-esque. In the summer there were far too many bugs and no balcony to grill on and in the winter there was too much moisture (and, we discovered, mold cropping up underneath the paint that we surmise had been slathered over it prior to our move in unbeknownst to us, and despite the steps we took to fight it afterwards) and no sunlight. We had been wanting to move out of there since the first year, but the timing was never quite right. When there were apartments and houses available for rent, we lacked either the time or the money to relocate and when we had time and money, there was nothing available to rent again. This went on for three long years until finally, this fall, we had truly come to the end of our ropes and decided we had had enough. We viewed three other apartments in our complex and chose the one we just moved into as the best available and agreed to take the plunge. No matter that we have no idea how long we will be residing here, the tenancy is month to month and I, for one, had no intention of spending another month in that mold infested dungeon if I could at all prevent it. And so it began.

We paid our damage deposit around the middle of the month and slowly began moving our belongings to our new digs. We thought we were doing great and that it would be a relatively easy move given the time frame in which we had to accomplish it and that we were only moving to another unit in our current building. However, towards the end of November, that view began to change. We both had prior extra-curricular commitments to honour and the countdown was on. Come the last weekend of the month, it was panic city for me (I tend to be a little more prone to stress than my partner). So, on Saturday night, in the midst of the hockey tournament, social outing, and volunteering we were engaged in, I realized that we had not checked the mail on Friday. I went downstairs in a break from packing and toting stuff and found an envelope from the landlady informing us that, after we had removed our possessions and cleaned the apartment as per the checklist we were given, we were booked to do a walk-through of our old apartment upon check out at 1pm on November 30th and that, if this was not convenient, we were to contact her and schedule a time prior to then.

This was news to me. firstly, I had received no check list, and secondly, I was under the impression that we had the whole of the 30th to finish everything. Then of course there was the matter of work. How were we to meet with her and walk through when we were both working at that time? My initial reaction was, as I said, panic. How on earth were we going to meet the new deadline with all the crap on our plates? Then I sprung into action and got a checklist from the lady who works weekends and busted my ass to do more packing. When my partner got home, I informed him of the new developments and the next day I continued on while he played hockey. When he got home the two of us slugged all our remaining stuff to the new apartment and then finished gutting and scrubbing the place from top to bottom to ensure we got our damage deposit back.

We bought chemical cleaners with the hopes of cutting down on cleaning time. Big mistake. As a result of exposrue to them, I got sick. After a very long night (it took longer than we expected to finish the move and the final cleaning, etc.) the two of us walked down the hall dragging the last of our gear, picked our way through the rubble and collapsed into bed. The next day, I went to work and was exposed to a bunch of dust when the new heating system was turned on for the first time and I've been sick ever since. The up side is that gives me lots of time to be unpacking. The downside is I'm sick and I don't want to be unpacking or crawling over crap all day long (nor looking at it either). And I have no means of contact with the outside world except my BlackBerry...it and the company of my iPod being my only sources of entertainment as well.

Anyway, we have to finish unpacking and putting stuff away over the next few days and then dig out the holiday decorations. I am hoping I will be feeling well soon.

Still Kicking

After a whole lot of burning and freezing this week, I am happy to report that I have been fever free for 2 days now and both my arms are once again fully functional with only a scatter twinge of soreness left. The coughing, aching, headache, and fatigue are taking a little longer to go away, but I think I am definitely on the mend. Yippee!

I have to admit, I am quite the sook when I am sick. I blame it on some seriously intense spoiling when I was younger.

My grandmother's routine when one of us was under the weather was to come around and check on us at least once a day and at least once during the illness she would bring a "lunch" of store-bought treats with her. I loved to hear her coming. Nan laid her hand on our foreheads to check our temperatures, stroked our hair and doled out all kinds of sympathy. She always had recommendations for whatever ailed us, and if we were suffering from respiratory issues, that included rubbing Vick's Vaporub on our chests and backs and covering it with swatches of flannel.

It also sometimes meant that she would make us homemade molasses candy....I can't remember the exact ingredients or proportions, but I know that the process involved butter and molasses in a "dipper" on the stove top and it was a very sticky, messy business. I know that when she was done, she would grease her hands and roll the concoction into little balls, put them on a plate and stick them in the fridge to harden. I know that I loved them dearly and attempted to make them on my own a couple of times when I got sick at university and was particularly sooky (just not the same)....I also know that she mixed in a dollop of Vick's and/or Minard's liniment...both of which I'm pretty sure you are not supposed to ingest. In any case, they made me feel better and I never had any run-ins with poison control, so it's all good.

I was telling my beau about this and he was quite amused. God love him, he does bear up well to the tall order of taking care of me when I'm sick. My Mom (who I usually talk to on a daily basis anyway since I landed myself in BC) has been checking in from Newfoundland a couple of times a day to make sure I'm still breathing, and a few of my friends have let me know they are thinking of me, so I'm definitely raking in the attention and feeling loved...I still miss Nan's molasses candy and flannel though.

All Shot Up

I've taken a little bit of an unplanned hiatus from my newborn blog - mostly due to lack of inspiration and tiredness. However, I ventured out today to get vaccinated and am returning with lots of blog fodder.

Here is a rundown of my experience:

Arrived at clinic site at approximately 9:20 am, read the sign stating eligibility criteria and walked to the end of the line. Senses promptly assaulted by the scent of very overpowering perfume. Attempted to put some space between myself and said smell to alleviate negative allergic reactions without losing my spot.

9:25ish saw an elderly lady walk out of the clinic and inform her husband (standing in front of me) that he is not eligible for the vaccine today because he is over 65 - no matter that he is diabetic, as long as he has gotten his seasonal flu shot already - and that they turned her away after an hour wait.

9:45ish witnessed a lady with a young boy park her truck and jump into the lineup about 3 people ahead of me next to a lady she apparently knew, followed by the man who had been conversing with the elderly gentleman who left with his wife now shuffling to a place further up the line.

Around 10:00, listened as the woman in front of me called over a health care worker and asked if he could tell her who was eligible for the clinic today and what shot was being offered.

10:15ish, two people proceeded to light cigarettes and smoke while standing in line (one of whom was the same lady the one with the kid had went to stand beside). Saw a man come over and ask the health care worker at the entrance if people over 65 were allowed to get inoculated today, as that was what he heard at the coffee shop this morning.

10:30ish, entered the building, read the sign requesting that clients have their Care Cards ready, and was entertained by a group of obviously extroverted mothers who were chasing their toddlers around and hollering at them, basking in the attention they were generating. Watched a nurse doling out shots to moms and kids and mentally gave her a pat on the back for the job she was doing and being able to stand up to all the crying with a smile. Coughed into my sleeve a few times after running out of Bentasil and noticed various nervous glances being shot my way accompanied by expressions informing me that I was a pariah in their midst.

Moved to the registration table, handed over my Care Card, and assured the lady doing the paper work that I have asthma and was advised by my doctor to show up and get both vaccines. Continued on to the seating section with my papers in hand and was hustled into the second row of chairs. Shuffled over several times as seats became vacant until I reached the end of the row and was pointed in the direction of a free injection station. Informed the nurse that I am already sick and had a fever last night, answered some questions, told her I had an allergy shot in my left arm yesterday and am scheduled for one in my right arm Monday, and listened as she told me that the H1N1 shot would hurt less going in but that the flu shot shouldn't make my arm as sore afterwards and to be prepared to get sicker before I get better (which I was expecting anyway but which still wasn't good to hear considering last night's fever was already an uncomfortable and scary 102.4 degrees).

11:00 The main event! Got jabbed in both arms, and then directed to another seating section and told to wait 15 minutes to make sure I was OK before leaving. Overheard an elderly lady speaking with a health care worker who was telling her that she is not eligible for the shot today, asking whether she was already informed of that by the workers patrolling the lineup outside, and that no, there were no exceptions being made. Left the clinic at 11:15 and drove home.

And now, the commentary/rant...

1. I cannot believe how inconsiderate some people are. Who in their right mind shows up at a vaccination clinic coated in perfume to stand in line with a bunch of asthmatics? Hello! Great way to set everyone coughing and rushing for their inhalers! Likewise to the smokers...lighting up in the midst of a group of people with lung issues as well as young children and infants. Smart. Thanks for that. Not to mention the couple who came out with their son, who was upset and had been crying after getting vaccinated, put him in their car and stood around smoking. When he tapped on the window and asked for a drink, the father replied "You can have a drink after. Dad is having a 'moke first." Good of them to not smoke in the vehicle with him for sure, but I was still a little put off by the display and thinking perhaps they had gotten their priorities mixed up a little along the way.

2. How is it that we expect children to abide by the unwritten rules of lining up and yet there are adults out there who still have not mastered the concept. Rude and bursting with self-importance and a false sense of entitlement much? What makes you any more special than the rest of us out there freezing our butts off that you think you can just prance on up to any place in line you feel like standing?

3. Why do people not read signs? They are not plastered all over the place to pretty things up, people! Conversely, the first time I saw anything about Care Cards was once I was inside the building. While it is probably a no-brainer anyways, prior signage wouldn't hurt - as I did hear some people say they had forgotten theirs, and I had to check and make sure I had mine at that point as well...

4. Why would you show up at a vaccination clinic and stand in line if you don't even know which shot is being offered? Wouldn't it make more sense to find that out FIRST? Or at the very least, ask someone when you arrived (like the man from the coffee shop who was using his brain)? Ditto for the people who ignored the signs and the patrolling workers only to get inside and be rejected.

5. What is the need of purposely making a public spectacle of yourself outside of the expected venues? Much as it provides entertainment, it does tend to become a tad obnoxious and annoying after a while...

6. Kudos to the nurses shooting up the infants and toddlers. Don't think I could do it. I did notice though that most of the infants didn't bat an eyelash, versus those who were older who almost all bawled. Makes me think that perhaps it is a chain reaction for the ones who are old enough to understand...one cries, scares the others, and sets them all off when it is their turn.

7. I feel bad for showing up sick and needing to cough...but honestly I hadn't coughed this morning and probably would have been coughing from the perfume anyway even if I wasn't sick...and I DID use my sleeve. Perhaps people would have felt better if I had been wearing a mask, like a couple of other people I saw at the clinic? Although I have a hunch those masks were more about protecting themselves from airborne viruses than those around them...

8. I am relieved and glad that I didn't have to endure one of the horror stories that have been on the news lately in relation to flu clinics. I was kind of worried and not sure what to expect when I left the apartment this morning, but I thought it was relatively quick, efficient, and painless - minus the other people who showed up and caused some irritation and discomfort but that had nothing to do with the people running the clinic....although I do wonder if there are/will be rules around smoking and scents at these sorts of things. It would make sense, if you ask me...

I am starting to question my own sanity injecting all this crap into my body and I am really hoping I made the right choice getting these two shots today. Part of me was thinking I should really hold off until I was better and maybe go for it then. There was also an odd mixture of thoughts and images floating through my mind at various points as I watched and waited. Predominantly, I couldn't stop myself from thinking we were just like a bunch of cows being herded inside, treated, and then released into the holding pen before being sent out to pasture to graze again (I apologize if I used incorrect terminology or odd imagery there...I am not an expert on cows and pastures by any means, but I haven't quite been able to absorb, digest, process, and put my finger on what exactly I would compare it to what with the muddied thoughts and all from the various drugs and injections over the past couple of days...I probably shouldn't even be writing right now...God only knows what drivel I am spouting at the moment) and wondering if I was being smart and prudent or stupidly succumbing to what the fear-mongers have been shoving down my throat.

Anyway, the bottom line is that I am beginning to feel like a pincushion between this and the allergy shots and am not enjoying the sore arms and matching bruises, but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end...

Scent Sensitive

I am currently suffering from yet another one of the sinus infections that have plagued me since moving to my current location. Did I ever have them before coming west? Yes. Yes I did. Did I have them as often or to such a bad degree? By and large, no - I did not. What appears to be the culprit? Well, as far as I can tell they are mostly due to the repeated exacerbation of my allergies, which creates an overload on my immune system and in turn results in one of these nasty little episodes. I won't bother grossing you out with the details, but suffice it to say it ain't pretty and it ain't fun.

On the surface, I suppose I could blame some of these symptoms on my exposure to the daily allergens I come in contact with...namely, "western trees and grasses (whatever that is supposed to encompass), dust, and mold." However, pollen levels vary and dust and mold are not ever-present in levels that would cause my body to go into meltdown mode. Perhaps if I was under stress at the time my immune system would be compromised that could be a contributing factor...And I have also blamed the air quality in my present locale, as it is definitely not the stuff of pristine wilderness.

But I am inside this body and have realized that it reacts rather strongly and rather quickly to a multitude of scents...specifically, the chemicals used to create those scents. I am not sure if I am becoming more sensitive as I get older or if I am just subjected to more irritants out here than I was back home and my system can't handle it anymore. Either way, it can be hellish.

It can happen anywhere, at any time. Much as I practice making decisions to protect myself in my immediate surroundings (i.e. at home or in my specific work environment to the best of my ability), I cannot control what I come into contact with during any given day. It is extremely frustrating. I have had to change seats during plays, leave movie theatres frantically searching for my inhaler (yeah I have asthma, too, which is also sometimes affected), run out of stores gasping for air, and avoid certain cashiers when I shop for groceries, among countless other inconveniences. And much of a nuisance as that is, and as embarrassing as it is for me to have to go to those measures for my own comfort and safety, I can somewhat understand. Obviously in our society I will never be free of every dangerous and allergy-inducing chemical known to man.

What I can't understand is having to deal with it in the workplace...which I do, on a continual basis. To my knowledge, quite a few work places back on The Rock have become scent free in recent years. I was under the impression that this was the case nationwide. Not so. At my last job, I questioned the scent policy and was told that it was the decision of each particular workforce to decide whether or not their building was scent free in this area and that, while my boss sympathized with my situation, he was not inclined to implement a policy for all employees as a solution (which left me feeling rather slighted in comparison to those with peanut or other allergies, which are taken more seriously - and yes, I do realize that some of those are life threatening. However, asthma can be too and while I am not afflicted with a condition that severe, who is to say there aren't others who are? And while I am on this side rant, if the airlines can stop serving peanuts then why can't they restrict passengers' use of scent? Isn't it the same premise? Prevent anaphylactic shock vs. prevent potentially life threatening asthma attack...I dunno, seems rational to me...). Alas, I had no other option but to single myself out as the lone shit disturber and start bringing it up at meetings and requesting some changes on my own (with my employer's support).

I resorted to this after being forced to take countless sick days due to my encounters with people, products, and objects of the scented variety while at work. And was it effective? No, ladies and gentlemen, it was not. While there was, eventually, some effort put into limiting workplace scents for my benefit (not to mention everyone elses, whether they realized it or not) by certain individuals, I was also promoted to the position of scratch and sniff lady, expected to test and pass judgment on their chosen scents. I'm sure they meant well, but seriously, what an awkward position to be put in and a surefire way to make myself a bigger target - and sick, to boot.

Now I am in a casual position which requires me to work in a few different buildings - and guess what? Most of them are not scent free either. Which means I am breathing in a different set of floating chemical cocktails from cleaners and personal care products all day long nearly every day, with no control over or protection from what I am exposed to. It's becoming quite annoying as well, because I can usually feel within a few minutes (sometimes less if I experience a more violent reaction) whether or not I'm going to be OK in a given place. But, like anyone else, when I am scheduled to be somewhere for the day, I have no choice but to stay there and work it, regardless of my condition (unless of course, God forbid, I am unfortunate enough one day to have to be hospitalized or something I suppose).

Some days are great. Nothing triggers me and I am fine from the time I arrive until I get home. Most days, I come into contact with something somewhere that irritates my respiratory system in some way, shape or form, makes me nauseous, gives me a headache, or any other of a host of negative reactions. If I am lucky, it will be something that I can limit my exposure to, choosing to avoid it for the majority of the day, and hopefully not feel its effects too badly. If I am not, I usually suffer in silence for fear of injuring someones feelings, causing a scene, embarrassing myself, etc, etc, etc. And after a few of those days of becoming more and more impaired, my body hits full rebel mode and I am no longer a fully functioning human being capable of living my life normally and getting through the work day.

Like I said, I get it that I am probably going to be confronted with this every day for the rest of my life, but I am hoping it will lessen with time - perhaps society will change for the better, perhaps I will eventually build up an immunity, or whatever else would improve the situation. In the meantime, I can't help comparing the whole thing to the ongoing fight between smokers and non-smokers...Individuals have the right to choose whether or not they use/wear certain products and fragrances, just like individuals have the right to choose whether or not they smoke. The difference is, non-smokers have recognized rights and are winning the battle to keep themselves free from pollutants (i.e. second-hand smoke generated from smokers).

Smokers cannot smoke in or around public buildings, workplaces, or even in their own vehicle if they have child passengers...but as a person who is sensitive to scents and chemicals, I have no recourse much of the time. For the most part, there are no widespread laws governing the use of fragrance. It is everywhere...public washrooms, laundromats, theatres, restaurants.....While I don't think it is a crime to want to smell good nor do I wish to implement a worldwide ban, I think it would be nice to promote increased awareness and consideration at the very least. It might also be nice to put some more pressure on the industry responsible for creating these monstrosities and forcing them to adhere to more strict regulations...I bet a lot of people would be surprised to know that there are ingredients used in personal care products and cleaners in North America that have been banned in Europe....

I have to insert here that I do, obviously, have close connections (friends, relatives, coworkers) that utilize their free will to employ scented products and that's fine by me as long as I am not around. And God love 'em, they do make changes to their regular routines to accommodate my extreme sensitivity, which I absolutely do sincerely appreciate. Words cannot express how grateful I am for that - truly. I guess it's different when it's someone you know well, eh? Although you would think common courtesy would dictate better treatment to anyone -stranger or no...Anyway, I digress...the point is there ARE safer/less toxic alternatives out there and -seriously -clean, fresh, and well groomed does not have to equal slathered in chemicals (although there are chemical laden scent free options on the market, too if you prefer). There are so many natural products on the market nowadays - both scented and non - and a lot of simple, tried and true solutions as close as your kitchen when it comes to cleaning. Of course, what you choose to use in your own space is completely up to you and all the power to you to do as you please. However, bear in mind that there are many people out there who suffer as I do and I think we deserve the freedom to breathe easily and free of pollutants (i.e. airborne fragrance particles)just as much as everyone else when we are out in public, wouldn't you agree?