Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Things are continuing to shift and move and make more sense. I have finished counselling for the time being as well as the set of hypnosis sessions I started and they have helped tremendously. I did some regression work and releasing during that time as well. I'm almost through The Gifts of Imperfection and have started on The Alchemist (my bedside stack of literature grew so much that I had to relocate it to the living room whilst it awaits my attention). I've not been able to keep up with the three minute daily mirror exercise (whereby a person stares at him/herself in the mirror for three minutes whilst simultaneously delivering and receiving positive self-talk), but I have been relatively consistent with my use of a nightly gratitude journal (in which I record at least five things that I am grateful for each day). In addition, I've recently started the new 21 day meditation program online with Oprah and Deepak Chopra (which I had previously never heard of until my hypnotist told me about it) and I went to see James van Praagh at the end of October (I had mixed observations and feelings about that one, but I'm glad I went for the experience nonetheless). I've been neglecting my nutrition, sleep, and exercise
a little a lot for the past couple of weeks, but I know it isn't forever and I'm getting better at accepting myself and silencing the litany of the damaging little voice in my brain. In fact, it's been a while since I last heard it say anything negative. I like it that way. It's OK if I don't have a productive day. It's OK if everything on my to do list isn't achieved within a given time frame (it never was, to be honest, but it always caused me grief before to see those items not crossed off at the end of the day). My stress level is way down and I am more consistently happy and content; not always - that's actually a disorder - but it is my normal state of being these days. Amazing. In fact, I had a conversation with Boyfriend last night (he is so emotionally and spiritually intelligent without even realizing it and has been a tremendous support for me) whereby he expressed to me that he has noticed a big difference in me...not that he has noticed all the things I have been doing to get here, but the end result so far. Yes, he has been aware of all my appointments and that I've been reading and watching TV shows and journalling, but it was the decision I made to not work for the past week and give myself a much-needed break that got his attention. He applauded me for knowing to do that for myself and for not panicking and stressing over the lack of income; he realizes it's not something I would have or could have done a year ago. He also commented on the disappearance of the lingering cloud of negativity over my head that was ever-present last fall and that I am no longer the ball of stress and anxiety I was then. I am definitely progressing steadily towards the person I want to be and (hopefully!) the life I want to lead.