Live Each Day Like It's Your Last

I had some sad news today...a close friend of my family died of a heart attack at work. I didn't really know him well...but he was my father's best friend and has been a friend of my mother's for the past 40 years, as well as several of my other family members and they are all shocked and upset by his sudden passing. His daughters used to babysit my brother and me when we were younger. And I had always meant to have a sit down with him and talk about my father (who died when I was really young). I figured who else to get some insight from than his former best friend? A couple of years ago I ran into him during the holidays and the thought crossed my mind that I should do it then - but the timing and the setting were not right. I thought I'd wait for a better time. I waited too long.

Bagless

I try to make it a habit to bring my own cloth bags when shopping. However, there are times I forget or I am only purchasing an item or two and don't really need a bag either way. In those instances, I tell the cashier right away that no bag is needed...but some of them are pretty quick on the draw and have one all ready to go by then. I have to say, it really bugs me when I grab my stuff to go and they take the bag they were going to give me and throw it in the trash. Why not just reuse it on the next customer? It kind of makes my intended good deed a bad one and leaves me feeling guilty that I didn't just take the damn bag and recycle it myself...

Tending the Soul

So our jaunt to Boxfit was put off from Monday night to last night, but was still good times. My friend and I really enjoyed Boxer-cise and I don't know about her, but I'm certainly feeling it today. We are considering going again, but hoping it will be less crowded next time (it's new right now so the novelty is still there and everyone wants to try it, much like us). We've also been going to Zumba classes along with a third friend on a fairly regular basis and I've been walking and doing yoga whenever the mood strikes as well. Hopefully the results will be noticeable soon...like before my dress is ready for choir, let's say? Did I mention how depressing it was to get measured for that? Yikes! I swear I have curves and a figure (albeit not exactly 36-24-36 or whatever those divine measurements are supposed to be), but according to her measuring tape I'm pretty much a tree trunk. Nice.

I have re-started The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron (I have the book), which I initially tried in BC and got halfway through before falling off the bandwagon. So far it seems to be helping me feel better, if nothing else. I have an artist date (rough translation: 2 hour block of uninterrupted alone time doing something fun - preferably something my inner child would like/appreciate) with myself tomorrow night. My "inner artist child" and I are going to a movie. It will be the first time I've gone to a movie solo since I was about 16 and dying of boredom one weekend. Anyway...should be an interesting experience. I'm sure there are people who do it all the time, but for me movie going has always been a social thing to do - well, accompanied by at least one friend or the current boyfriend at the time. Last week myself and I went for a walk in Bowring Park and took lots of pictures of the pretty fall colours and leaves everywhere for our artist date. It was great, on more than one count. I needed a reminder of how enthralled I can become with my surroundings and how getting out in nature, breathing fresh air and appreciating beauty can somehow make everything seem better. The chapter I just read in The Artist's Way actually talks about paying attention to the little details in the here and now and I must say, it is really powerful sometimes to just do that one simple thing.

I've also been finding practicing songs for choir to be quite therapeutic and good for my soul. My emotional and spiritual well being has been positively affected by all of these practices (and of course journalling, which I've been doing for years)and I hope I can remember to keep them up. Now...if I could only figure out the rest of my life. The method behind the madness was that if I could take better care of myself and tend to my spirit perhaps my thinking and emotions would become more clear and I would accomplish more and be more productive in everyday life (thereby quelling the feelings of uselessness and guilt that come with not having a regular job)...that perhaps that neon sign I was praying to drop from the heavens would actually materialize in my brain instead.

While there have been no glowing lights to date, the fact that I AM feeling better is leaving me better able to cope with stress and keep depression a little more at bay, so I guess that is progress, at least...

Car Woes

Have you ever been supposed to go somewhere or do something and had a niggling feeling that maybe you shouldn't? Such was the case with us on Monday evening...

We were due to go to theatre auditions and my partner said a few times that maybe we shouldn't go. I was of the opinion that we had said we were going and so we had better show up...however, as the day wore on and we ended up a tad behind schedule, I was inclined to wonder if perhaps he was right and we should just stay home. In any case, we plodded on and made our way to the theatre (arriving more than a little fashionably late) and got through the audition process (me on the stage and him plotting possible lighting options for the play). Everything was pretty much wrapped up and we were just having a little chat with some other stragglers when a couple that had left a few minutes before returned to let us know they had backed into our car in the parking lot. Sigh...sometimes you should just go with your instincts.

We went out to survey the damage (the other couple felt really bad and we did our best to make it as painless as we could for them) and, of course, it was the front bumper that we had replaced the winter before last that had fallen victim (along with one of the front fenders).

Since they requested to pay for repairs themselves instead of going through insurance, we agreed that we would get some quotes and get back to them. Out of the three places we have gone, there is a range of about $1000 between estimates. Crazy.

Tonight we get to break the news that it will be a two day job and, since we only have one vehicle and I am on call, we will also be needing a rental. I hate having to be the bearer of news like that and neither of us is good at delivering it (I don't know if it is really possible for anyone to be good at that). I am hoping it will go smoothly and this will continue to be an easy transaction, but one can never tell. I'd say I am keeping my fingers crossed but that would be intensely uncomfortable for me right now, since I also managed to bruise my fingers at choir last night while practicing for our performance of the Olympic torch song later in the week (we are doing the insane clapping/slapping and stomping SATB version)...perhaps a few of you could cross yours for me?