Conversations at Christmas

Brother: So Mom was saying she can't figure out what you gave her for Christmas.

Me: What do you mean?

Brother: Yeah, she said she doesn't understand because all she got was a Bounty bar wrapped up in paper towels in a little box...

Me: Oh my! Don't tell me [the stepdad] forgot to put her gift under the tree! Didn't he tell her what was going on?

Brother: No, I don't think so...she said she looked all over the place to see if she misplaced her gift when she unpacked the parcel, but she couldn't find anything.

Me: Great.

(ring, ring...mom picks up...)

Me: Hi. So did you figure out what your Christmas gift was yet?

Mom: No...I was sitting there watching [the stepdad] open his gifts thinking, "well I must have been a really bad Mom this year"

Me: Put your husband on the phone please...

(Stepfather picks up)

Me: Ummmm did you not think it was a little odd when you were sitting there opening your gifts from us that all Mom had was a bar?

Stepfather: Yeah, I thought it was a bit strange. I helped her look all over the house though and we couldn't find any other presents, and she looked in here too (his parents house) figuring maybe she sent it in by accident but there's nothing here....

Me: Where is the gift certificate your sister picked up for me back in November? You were supposed to put it under the tree?!?!?

Stepfather: (laughing very hard) Oh, s#&*! Well, that's a good one...I forgot all about that! (calling over his shoulder) I know where your gift is! I'll get it for you when we go home! (hahaha)

Me: SIGH...put Mom back on the phone...

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a man who hides various cards all around the house, forgets, picks up more, and then finds them the following year when he is looking to stash a new set, forgot to put something he didn't purchase under the tree for someone else. The sad thing is that not only did my stepfather completely forget our conversation about how I was going to send that bar in wrapping paper as a decoy and help Mom look for her missing gift, but when they were visiting his family (who all knew what her gift was), she told them about her confusion and not ONE of them piped up and told her the difference because it didn't dawn on ANY of them!

Ah well, I'm not sure what that says about their memories (or lack of), but it makes for some good comic relief anyway...