Sunday, January 1, 2012


So this is it...the first day of 2012. I must admit, there is a shift in me today...but I think it's one that has been formulating inside for quite some time. It doesn't feel like anything monumental. Just another day. But an opportunity to make a new start and get off on the right foot. I'm glad that I'm not hungover today. New Year's Eve was less than thrilling and I came home from the Sheraton at 10am-ish this morning. But I'm happy. There was no kiss at midnight, I barely danced, and I hardly fact, I didn't even have anything to sip on to toast and yell "CHEERS!" when the countdown ended...but I was with my girls. New memories were created and the most obscure encounters of the evening stirred some kind of deeper understanding in me. When the New Year was rung in, we were standing on the dance floor - together. It also feels good to be able to function right now...I've unpacked my bag, done the dishes, and started laundry since arriving chez moi. Mundane? Totally. Yet also satisfying. It's better than being sick or just going to bed and sleeping the day away. I feel older, wiser, and there is a sense of accomplishment inherent in not having a kick ass time on the biggest party night of the year, but still being able to appreciate it for what it was.

2011 was a great learning experience. There were lots of fun times and lots of not so fun times. I found myself living it up and making up for the loss of my social life in my 20s and I also found myself drowning in my own sorrows on more than one occasion, lost and drifting in an endless sea of uncertainty. There was excitement and there was heartbreak. I didn't accomplish a lot of the things I had wished to, but I did come into my own a little more on the inside. Here's hoping 2012 brings more progress and stability my way...and brings you whatever it is that you would like to have in your own life. May it be kind to us all. 

PS: I have decided that January 10th will be my quit smoking date. The weaning starts today. 


  1. Happy New Year, BG!
    sorry for my lack of appearance here due to massive interwebz outport s****y service of dropped and or weak connections. Mental I am.
    I will be cheerleading on the smoking cessation as I am a graduate. Alan Carr's book is amazing and my daughter found Quitnet excellent.
    Personally, celery sticks (thin, use like cigarette), buttons and popcorn in the mouth and elimination of coffee for a while really helped me. May 1, 1988.

  2. Thanks WWW, and Happy New Year to you as well! :) I went the cessation route once before and it lasted 5 years or so. If I did it once, I can do it again...but it is a hard thing to do, no doubt. Coffee isn't really an issue for me, but I had to avoid alcohol altogether for a couple of years.

  3. Hey WWW...just wanted to say thank you for telling me about Quitnet. I've spent quite a few hours on there today trying to mentally prepare and it's been helping :) I may go in search of that book as well...