Awed

I have to admit I'm still a little in shock each time a day goes by and Unofficial Official Boyfriend (we've kicked it up a notch haha) doesn't do or say anything wrong. It's kind of unheard of in my experience. But it's great. He's great. We're great. Sickening, isn't it? I think he is going to meet the first of my friends this weekend. How exciting! We all know our girlfriends scrutinize the men in our lives and give us the scoop on what they perceive. I can't wait to see what this rather opinionated friend has to say. Mostly because I'm pretty sure there's no way it can be anything bad :) Oh, and I have been booked for work on Monday. Yippee!! :-) And now I must go pull my head out of the clouds and be productive for at least a couple of hours...I've been in LaLa Land all day...

So Far, So Good

Unofficial Boyfriend has yet to do or say anything wrong. I am calm and grounded and happier than I can remember being in a very long time in a romantic sense. Probably the last time I was close to this happy was last summer with the friend of a friend who went back to his girlfriend. But then I felt all crazy and infatuated and this time I just feel...sure. We exchanged I love yous last night...which kind of freaks me out a tiny bit when I think of the time frame involved here, but which felt so natural and so right that I don't even question it.

In regard to the pet situation (which is the only thing that gives each of us pause, really), he has decided to find the cats a new home (his idea, not mine, and not only because of me but also because he feels that they tend to stick to the basement because they dislike Big Black a little and he wants them to have a better quality of life) and I have decided that I am really going to work on befriending the dog.

I cannot wait for him to meet those others near and dear to me. This could definitely be it.

The Other Black Dog

So...Unofficial Boyfriend? He has a dog. And some cats. The dog is massive and black and I am not comfortable with him. This makes me sad. I am not a pet person. I was not raised with pets, nor have I had any of my own, save some fish for a year or so in British Columbia. It's not that I don't like animals...I am just not used to them and they make me nervous - sometimes to the point of being scared.  big black barks (though not often) and my heart jumps out of my chest at the thunderous sound; he playfully nips at me and I envision losing digits in those powerful jaws; he gets in my space or stares at me and I freeze and panic...and it's not like he is baring his teeth and growling at me or anything...I just fear that he will pounce at some point, and I am sure he senses my unease and this makes things worse between us. Unofficial Boyfriend has been very good about putting himself between big black and me when he senses my discomfort and telling the dog "no" and "off" and "down" when necessary. He has talked to me about big black's friendly manner and about how he's not going to hurt me. He has told me to give big black commands when I don't like something. But I don't trust big black and I am self-conscious about interacting with him in front of Unofficial Boyfriend because I feel inadequate in that way...even though I'm pretty sure big black is mostly just curious about this new person who has shown up in his space a couple of times, monopolizing his master's attention.

However, I don't think the situation is hopeless. My brother has a dog and I love her. In fact, I bring her for walks, I've slept with her on the bed beside me, and I even dog sat for ten days last summer. Half the time when I visit my brother's it's to see his dog! But we met when she was a puppy and she's an extremely mild mannered Shih Tzu, so she's not ever going to be huge and intimidating. I'm not a fan of fur and some other things that come with having pets, but I'm sure I could deal with that if black beast and I could become friends. I actually spent part of my night last night Googling episodes of The Dog Whisperer, trying to figure out how I am going to overcome this. How I am going to be able to walk into Unofficial Boyfriend's house without the fear of being somehow attacked, or be alone in a room with big black someday and be perfectly OK without the protection of Unofficial Boyfriend...how I am going to be able to hear his different snorts and moans and play growls without thinking he is plotting how best to get rid of me.

The cats are another matter entirely...I'm not even ready to go there. I haven't met them yet, nor do I really wish to. I tolerate my friends' cats and would never wish them any harm, but I cannot say I have any particular kind of affection for them or enjoy their company overmuch. They can be entertaining to watch, I suppose, but that is about the extent of it. I am allergic as well. This could pose problems. Yet, having said that, the pet situation is the only thing that Unofficial Boyfriend and I are concerned about and we are so far open to working on it together somehow.

Unofficial Boyfriend (revised)

The conversation went something like this: 

UB: "So...is it official yet?" 

Me: "What?"

UB: "Ummm, nevermind."

Me: "You can't say nevermind after that question"

UB: " There's a better time to ask. I'll ask you later, if it even needs asking."

Later...

Me: "So what was it you wanted to ask me?"

UB: "Oh, I was kinda hoping you would have forgotten that."

Me: "Nope."

UB: "Well...basically what I was trying to get at was...well, I just figured that...if we're going to be seeing each other...and if we're going to be getting romantic...then....well...I just wondered if...."

Me: "Yes....?"

UB: "Well...I was wondering...I mean...what are we?"
Me: "What do you want us to be?"
UB: "Well....you know...I was wondering...if we could maybe be...you know...boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Me: Grin

UB: "It's ok. You don't have to answer or say anything. I know it's really soon and we said we weren't going to rush. I just wondered is all. We can take our time."

Me: "How about we make it UNofficial for now?"

UB: "Well I'd say that's a step in the right direction."

Me: "But we are agreed it's exclusive?"

UB: "Oh yeah - definitely."

Me: Grin. Giggle. 

UB: "What? What's so funny?"

Me: Giggle. "You asked if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend."

Pause

Me: "Why do you keep looking at me?"

UB: "You're making happy sounds. I guess I just want to be a part of it. But to be honest, I'm pretty happy myself right now." 

Me: Even goofier grin. 

Cross your fingers for me, folks!