Today my body is exhausted. I looked at the calendar and realized that I have been getting some form of decent exercise almost every day. I rock. I am also very pleased to report that I checked up on my (measurable) progress yesterday and I am down 7 lbs in total since the 3rd and have lost 3 inches; 2 on my waist and 1 on my hips. Yay me! Boyfriend is down 6.6 lbs and 2 inches off his waist. I'm very proud of him, as well :)
When I awoke, however, I found myself down in the dumps. You see, I auditioned for a couple of plays in the spring and, after a callback for one production, have not heard anything from either company. It makes me sad. It makes me question whether I am "good enough," and it reminds me of how much I miss the stage and all the people I only tend to see when I am involved in a production. It is truly a whole different atmosphere. I try to tell myself that it's probably for the best and will allow me extra time to focus on work/job/career-related things that need focusing on, and in part that is true, but there is also a part of my soul that weeps for the missed opportunities. I am hoping I will at least find a way to finance my choir membership this year and be able to keep that as a part of my weekly routine (and I use the term 'routine' loosely. Actually, creating a routine is kinda one of my goals!).
Oh! And I almost forgot!! I had my last cigarette back in October! Woohoo!!! :)
Anyhow, productivity calls!
Showing posts with label fitness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fitness. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Good Morning Blog-Land!
So I'm sitting here eating my steel cut oats with fruit and nuts like a good girl and I'm thinking - Hey! This is a new focus in my life: eating clean and treating my body better. I haven't mentioned that. Like a lot of people (stereotypically, women), I have battled with the scale. I have tried dieting a few times and Weight Watchers a couple more; I have tried upping my level of activity to get results, and all the while I have done it because my goal was to lose weight. Inevitably, it always came back. I told myself it had to be a lifestyle change, but never really fully understood what that meant, in retrospect. Frustrated and disappointed with myself, I always found myself back at my starting point and wondering how I had let it come back to this. This time is different. I am all about making permanent changes that I can sustain and my motivation (which I sometimes claimed before but was never able to really marry to my weight loss regimens) is to be stronger, healthier, and treat my body better with a focus on getting fit instead of losing weight. I have to say, though, that I've actually seen the scale move downwards more consistently in the last two weeks than I have during any other attempt at weight loss. It's empowering, I feel great, and instead of a sense of deprivation, there is, rather, a sense of satisfaction that I am making positive changes and fuelling my body with only good things (with the occasional treat being incorporated in the near future, of course).
Focus 2 is making and maintaining a budget with the boyfriend. That has been tentatively created, and we will start using it in August. Yay us!! This marks the first time I have ever actually made a plan with a man to work together towards our common financial and life goals rather than fighting against each other or just doing our thing and assuming at some point down the road a home and family would materialize. In my experience, it just doesn't happen if you don't plan for it!
Which leaves the other, very-important-but-somehow-still-spinning-my-wheels-stuff. I am so lost with the whole money-making/career thing and how to incorporate better time management and balance my leisure time with productivity without coming down on myself for one thing or another. I have put so much pressure on myself to FIGURE SHIT OUT!! and every day that doesn't happen feels like a failure, somehow. On the one hand, I am an organizer and a planner who needs security, structure, and creativity...on the other, I am told that you just can't plan for these things. They come to you in their own time and you find yourself doing things you may not have thought of before. ....or not. And I don't know if I can just wait it out or keep on keeping on while I beat my head against the wall trying to figure it all out...if that even makes sense...
OK, so oatmeal is done and it's time to get to the To-Do list. So glad we had this chat, though! At least I got my writing fix today! :-)
Focus 2 is making and maintaining a budget with the boyfriend. That has been tentatively created, and we will start using it in August. Yay us!! This marks the first time I have ever actually made a plan with a man to work together towards our common financial and life goals rather than fighting against each other or just doing our thing and assuming at some point down the road a home and family would materialize. In my experience, it just doesn't happen if you don't plan for it!
Which leaves the other, very-important-but-somehow-still-spinning-my-wheels-stuff. I am so lost with the whole money-making/career thing and how to incorporate better time management and balance my leisure time with productivity without coming down on myself for one thing or another. I have put so much pressure on myself to FIGURE SHIT OUT!! and every day that doesn't happen feels like a failure, somehow. On the one hand, I am an organizer and a planner who needs security, structure, and creativity...on the other, I am told that you just can't plan for these things. They come to you in their own time and you find yourself doing things you may not have thought of before. ....or not. And I don't know if I can just wait it out or keep on keeping on while I beat my head against the wall trying to figure it all out...if that even makes sense...
OK, so oatmeal is done and it's time to get to the To-Do list. So glad we had this chat, though! At least I got my writing fix today! :-)
Monday, March 26, 2012
Bumps and Hurdles
I awoke tense and panicky. The dream had been so realistic. I was called to the stage suddenly and without warning whilst watching a rehearsal in a sizable theatre space. My mind was blank. I didn't know my lines. I was mortified and apologized profusely. It may be time to study them in real life! (In related news, I keep dreaming about one of the guys I was in Godspell with a couple of years ago and who directed the first play I was in. I'm not sure what that is about. It's not in a romantic or sexual way or anything, but still...odd that he should make such frequent appearances in my nocturnal meanderings...)
I have been working my butt off and the scale has not moved in over 2 weeks. That is very frustrating. It won't stop me from being active, because that's been making me feel a lot better in any event...but it does sort of zap the motivation to keep monitoring what I am eating...
Work has slowed and I have been battling worry, hoping for the phone to start ringing again. I missed out on two days last week due to a specialist appointment that I had been waiting a year and a half to go to...which turned out to be just the start of another waiting game.
Five cigarettes were smoked over the past weekend. That is NOT good. It's the most lax I have been in my process since starting it back in January. I noticed that the fear of craving had crept back in by last night. I must be stronger and resolve not to do that anymore. One is one too many and one more is never enough.
Clearly, I have hit a lull. However, it is up to me how long I allow it to stay. And I vote that it packs its bags and hits the highway by sundown.
Briefly, in other news: I have a bunch of songs that also need learning, I have been casually chatting with 3-4 guys from the dating site (but viewing and approaching it much differently than before) who seem to be better potential fits for me than the majority of men I have interacted with from there in the past, and my real life crushes seem to be going nowhere for the time being (although one of them seems to stick in my head a lot more than anyone else). Finally, I need to find a way to improve the health of my sleep schedule. (Oh, and the old friendship mending is still going well, the newest friendship upheaval seems to be levelling out, and I got to spend some quality time with my brother this weekend, which was awesome :)).
Monday, May 16, 2011
The Doldrums
I haven't written anything in a long time...not even in my journal. I'm not quite sure why that is except that I don't have much to say these days as there is not much going on in my world on the surface. Things are pretty boring and quiet. I'm kind of panicked about the work situation, as the school year is winding down and I am not EI eligible at present, so I have no safety net. I'm still in central crossing my fingers and currently applying for positions for the upcoming year and looking to see what is out there to tide me over in the meantime. It's not a comfortable position to be in.
The man ban is still in effect, and so the dating aspect of my life is dead at present. I have, however, been trying to be more physically active. I went for a 7-8K hike over the weekend and I've started jogging periodically...I was walking and doing yoga fairly regularly anyway, but felt the need to ramp it up a little. I'm hoping it will result in increased health and wellness and getting back on track with weight loss, but if nothing else, it gets the endorphins going for a time. Oh, how laughable that would have been to contemplate in my younger years, but I'm quite proud of myself for the effort these days.
Other than that, there really isn't much to talk about. Everything is up in the air, as it has been for far too long now. The only constants have been the love, support, and company of my family and my closest friends. I guess that is enough to be thankful for in the interim, but I pray to have the means to stand on my own two feet and obtain some stability soon...
The man ban is still in effect, and so the dating aspect of my life is dead at present. I have, however, been trying to be more physically active. I went for a 7-8K hike over the weekend and I've started jogging periodically...I was walking and doing yoga fairly regularly anyway, but felt the need to ramp it up a little. I'm hoping it will result in increased health and wellness and getting back on track with weight loss, but if nothing else, it gets the endorphins going for a time. Oh, how laughable that would have been to contemplate in my younger years, but I'm quite proud of myself for the effort these days.
Other than that, there really isn't much to talk about. Everything is up in the air, as it has been for far too long now. The only constants have been the love, support, and company of my family and my closest friends. I guess that is enough to be thankful for in the interim, but I pray to have the means to stand on my own two feet and obtain some stability soon...
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Ex-Factor
I'm not sure about everyone else, but I have found that I have put on weight over the course of my long term relationships. The first time, it was because I was miserable and using emotional eating as a coping strategy without realizing (never a good idea). I gained somewhere around 30 pounds over a 2-3 year period. Not good. The last time, my weight tended to fluctuate 20 pounds or so...I'd lose them and then I'd gain them back...then I'd lose them and gain them back...you get the picture.
When I moved home, I was close to being back to my heaviest weight after months of misery followed by a month or so of eating takeout while packing boxes to ship across the country. Again - I don't recommend that as a wise course of action, but sometimes it is necessary to do what needs to be done without losing your mind.
I am by no means fanatical about my weight, but I do try to stay healthy and in decent shape. As my mother says, "everything in moderation." I walk, I do yoga, I hike (none of which is done on stringently, but all of which occurs fairly frequently) and I attempt to eat healthy during the week so that the weekend splurges are not quite so guilt-ridden. And on that note, I am happy to report that I am now down to pre-last-boyfriend weight (on the button). And in another 10 pounds I will be down to pre-first-boyfriend weight...which I haven't been since I was 19-20ish. Now THAT is exciting :)
I also like to think of it as being symbolic...you know...like somehow the weight is connected to the emotional upheaval and baggage accumulated over the course of relationships that didn't work out and so losing it, in turn, equates to lightening the load on my mind and my shoulders and in my heart. I find it is therapeutic to look at it that way...as if I am working my way back to a sort of emotionally healthy tabula rasa state (in terms of healing old scars and banishing any bitterness/cynicism that may be lurking in parts unknown) for the right person to get a fair shot while maintaining all the lessons learned and wisdom garnered from the past...As someone said to me a few months ago, "We all have baggage. It's just a matter of learning to check it when you get on board the next flight and not dump it in the lap of the person sitting next to you." Wise words, indeed...
When I moved home, I was close to being back to my heaviest weight after months of misery followed by a month or so of eating takeout while packing boxes to ship across the country. Again - I don't recommend that as a wise course of action, but sometimes it is necessary to do what needs to be done without losing your mind.
I am by no means fanatical about my weight, but I do try to stay healthy and in decent shape. As my mother says, "everything in moderation." I walk, I do yoga, I hike (none of which is done on stringently, but all of which occurs fairly frequently) and I attempt to eat healthy during the week so that the weekend splurges are not quite so guilt-ridden. And on that note, I am happy to report that I am now down to pre-last-boyfriend weight (on the button). And in another 10 pounds I will be down to pre-first-boyfriend weight...which I haven't been since I was 19-20ish. Now THAT is exciting :)
I also like to think of it as being symbolic...you know...like somehow the weight is connected to the emotional upheaval and baggage accumulated over the course of relationships that didn't work out and so losing it, in turn, equates to lightening the load on my mind and my shoulders and in my heart. I find it is therapeutic to look at it that way...as if I am working my way back to a sort of emotionally healthy tabula rasa state (in terms of healing old scars and banishing any bitterness/cynicism that may be lurking in parts unknown) for the right person to get a fair shot while maintaining all the lessons learned and wisdom garnered from the past...As someone said to me a few months ago, "We all have baggage. It's just a matter of learning to check it when you get on board the next flight and not dump it in the lap of the person sitting next to you." Wise words, indeed...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Email to Make You Laugh Out Loud
In keeping with my renewed efforts to get back in shape...I received a forward from a close friend yesterday that made me burst out laughing several times as I read through it on my BlackBerry. I am glad there was no one else around to see me sitting alone in my car in the dark parking lot waiting to pick up my partner and giggling uncontrollably...the last thing I need is another rumour circulating as to the questionable state of my sanity.
Anyway, it was pure gold and I can't resist sharing it. I hope it tickles all of your funny bones as well, because we could all use a good laugh now and then. It is, after all, the best medicine for whatever ails you!
So, without further ado, here are the contents of the email (hey, it's my blog and I can do what I want with it!):
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week !!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT !! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny little bitch to find me..
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
__________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
Anyway, it was pure gold and I can't resist sharing it. I hope it tickles all of your funny bones as well, because we could all use a good laugh now and then. It is, after all, the best medicine for whatever ails you!
So, without further ado, here are the contents of the email (hey, it's my blog and I can do what I want with it!):
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week !!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT !! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny little bitch to find me..
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
__________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
Building a Fitness Arsenal
Like a lot of others, I have hit the harsh wall of post-holiday reality - in the form of the bathroom scale. Ouch. I knew this was coming and it was my own fault, but the time has come to do something about it...again. What this means at the moment is that (although I am still proceeding to stuff my face with leftover holiday goodies) in a bid to combat the effects of overindulgence (and since I have yet to overcome my gym phobia and do not particularly enjoy frequent walking in the wintertime), I am attempting to revive my home workout program (and I use that term loosely).
I jump started this initiative by spending countless hours sitting in front of the computer frustratedly researching what's available and indecisively polling friends. A little silly and excessive, I admit, but I wanted to spend money wisely instead of impulsively making purchases. The next step was to buff up my collection of workout DVDs. So, in addition to the likes of Leslie Sansone (I have a bunch of her Walk off the Pounds DVDs), Michelle Dozois (Pilates Plus is one of my staples, although I have it on VHS and would really like to get the DVD version), Jillian Michaels, Billy Blanks and Jennifer Pohlman (the latter two are definitely NOT among my faves) who I have collected over the past 10 years, multiple new videos starring Rodney Yee, Jennifer Kries, Debbie Siebers, Shiva Rea and the Yoga Zone crew (as well as some new ones featuring the old assortment of trainers) have now moved in to grace my shelves. I admit I may have went a little crazy with it - more than doubling my fitness DVD collection in a few days, but the theory is that if I can outsmart my tendency to become bored (therefore quickly giving up), I might actually be able to develop and sustain a routine that lasts more than a couple of weeks.
So far, while I still intend to throw a few of the old standbys into the mix again eventually, I have tried them all except the new Jennifer Kries' pilates routine (which hasn't yet arrived from Chapters...or was it Amazon?) and have had mixed reactions. Of the new ones (most of which are yoga based, which is all new to me), I have to say I am finding the Yoga Zones and Debbie Siebers easiest to follow as a newbie. The others are enjoyable as well, but I will probably leave them on the shelf until I become better acquainted with yogic practices. However, I have to say, finding Mariel Hemingway on some of the Rodney Yee vids was a little disturbing and I don't think her segments will become part of the regular rotation.
The bottom line is that I am beginning to feel better; more flexible and energized, already, and that I have enough fresh material to rotate through to keep me going for a long time without it feeling stagnant. That has to be a step in the right direction, doesn't it? I am also finding that the yoga DVDs are self-motivating, meaning that I don't have to work too hard at convincing myself to get up and do them. That is also a bonus (although I have to wonder if it will continue to be that way once the novelty wears off) which I intend to make the most of while it lasts.
Most importantly, I am breaking my holiday routine of inactivity-while-feeling-lonely-and-sorry-for-myself...which was totally not healthy...and I am thinking that if I could find the will and determination to stop smoking 4 1/2 years ago and make it last, this is totally do-able. Perhaps 2010 will be the year that I finally stick with it and see ongoing results instead of my habitual yearly round of follow the yo-yo with that pesky 15 pounds that just will not quit. Of course, I also have to break the bad eating habits I have allowed myself to slip into over the past couple of months as well, but one step at a time - right?
I jump started this initiative by spending countless hours sitting in front of the computer frustratedly researching what's available and indecisively polling friends. A little silly and excessive, I admit, but I wanted to spend money wisely instead of impulsively making purchases. The next step was to buff up my collection of workout DVDs. So, in addition to the likes of Leslie Sansone (I have a bunch of her Walk off the Pounds DVDs), Michelle Dozois (Pilates Plus is one of my staples, although I have it on VHS and would really like to get the DVD version), Jillian Michaels, Billy Blanks and Jennifer Pohlman (the latter two are definitely NOT among my faves) who I have collected over the past 10 years, multiple new videos starring Rodney Yee, Jennifer Kries, Debbie Siebers, Shiva Rea and the Yoga Zone crew (as well as some new ones featuring the old assortment of trainers) have now moved in to grace my shelves. I admit I may have went a little crazy with it - more than doubling my fitness DVD collection in a few days, but the theory is that if I can outsmart my tendency to become bored (therefore quickly giving up), I might actually be able to develop and sustain a routine that lasts more than a couple of weeks.
So far, while I still intend to throw a few of the old standbys into the mix again eventually, I have tried them all except the new Jennifer Kries' pilates routine (which hasn't yet arrived from Chapters...or was it Amazon?) and have had mixed reactions. Of the new ones (most of which are yoga based, which is all new to me), I have to say I am finding the Yoga Zones and Debbie Siebers easiest to follow as a newbie. The others are enjoyable as well, but I will probably leave them on the shelf until I become better acquainted with yogic practices. However, I have to say, finding Mariel Hemingway on some of the Rodney Yee vids was a little disturbing and I don't think her segments will become part of the regular rotation.
The bottom line is that I am beginning to feel better; more flexible and energized, already, and that I have enough fresh material to rotate through to keep me going for a long time without it feeling stagnant. That has to be a step in the right direction, doesn't it? I am also finding that the yoga DVDs are self-motivating, meaning that I don't have to work too hard at convincing myself to get up and do them. That is also a bonus (although I have to wonder if it will continue to be that way once the novelty wears off) which I intend to make the most of while it lasts.
Most importantly, I am breaking my holiday routine of inactivity-while-feeling-lonely-and-sorry-for-myself...which was totally not healthy...and I am thinking that if I could find the will and determination to stop smoking 4 1/2 years ago and make it last, this is totally do-able. Perhaps 2010 will be the year that I finally stick with it and see ongoing results instead of my habitual yearly round of follow the yo-yo with that pesky 15 pounds that just will not quit. Of course, I also have to break the bad eating habits I have allowed myself to slip into over the past couple of months as well, but one step at a time - right?
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