The Balance

3 weeks. That is how long it has been since my last post; since I have written anything other than lists, texts, and the odd email. Too long. My world was exploding with activity and it has now come to a momentary standstill. I was calm...happy...invigorated. That is now interspersed with anxiety, confusion, and doubt. Anyway, here's the rundown of updates:

Smoking - it's been over a month with the odd slip here and there...which means a cig or two once a week or two when I am in the company of smokers. I'm not going to beat myself up too much because it is a process and I have made progress from smoking regularly. However, I am still not proud of it and looking forward to being stronger in the near future.

Weight loss - back on the wagon and making an effort to drink more water, make better food choices, and get more exercise. I have been going to various classes (from kick boxing to hot yoga) with a couple of different friends, as well as walking, doing in home workouts and working out with my brother from time to time...whatever I can fit in and whenever I can fit it in with a goal of at least 4 sessions a week. So far, I am down 1.5 lbs. Myfitnesspal has been helping. I downloaded the iPhone app and added a friend who has also been using it. (Side note: I am shocked at how much sugar I actually consume!! :s ).

Work - meh. Up and down. Hard to say. I've gotten calls from 4 different schools so far since the holidays and been to 3 of them. Calls are not regular or consistent and I'm currently in what feels like a slump period. I am hoping it picks back up soon (although I've been pretty sick for the past week or so, so it's probably best I haven't gotten a call in the past few days so that I have a chance to recuperate). I am also in the midst of trying to figure out a path of professional growth to pursue.

Dating - nonexistent. I decided the guy I was dating was not the right one for me and ended it. We still talk and I am glad of that. I still have contact with the guy who wanted back into my life as well, but I haven't been really entertaining the idea of giving him another chance. And the guy who was in NS contacted me to let me know he will be moving back here in the spring. For now, I am content to just be solo and concentrate on me.

Friendships - currently mending fences with the friend I let go last year. We are both in different places now and it seems to be flowing more smoothly so far. However, it's still early in the game. I have also reconnected with a few friends who, sadly, got back burnered due to life in general. And I am having difficulty dealing with the friendship I referred to in this post recently. It is that which is causing me anxiety right now. I had my eyes opened in a big way through a series of events and realized that this was not a healthy relationship for me to be in...and it is a complicated situation. Now I am trying to figure out how to move forward and change the relationship...but it is not easy after over a decade of established habits and routines. Only time will tell what will happen, but I really don't want to go back to the way things were. I can't.

Theatre and choir - the dual loves of my life. I haven't had/been to as many rehearsals in the past couple of weeks and I miss them dearly when they are not there/I am too sick to attend. They keep me busy, they make me happy, they allow me to escape, and they are food to my soul.

Other than that, my family continues to be loving and supportive, and the remainder of my friends continue to be a source of comfort and joy and I treasure each of them for who they are and what they bring to my life. And I am trying to take more control of my finances again and also want to find more time to write and keep on top of taking care of myself and my apartment. Time management was never my strong suit...it seems like something always gets sacrificed and falls behind...

Yes, I have come leaps and bounds in this new year...now...how do I keep it up and make it all balance?

Score!

The play I auditioned for? I got offered the lead female role. The choir audition I went to tonight? Success. Very much. And I am now their newest member. I also worked yesterday and today. Yep, all in all it's good to be me right now. So much so that I can grin and bear the burning discomfort I am experiencing right now due to an allergic reaction to a new facial moisturizer I decided to try (which had rave reviews online...but apparently not everyone needs to live in a bubble like me).

Tuesday Night Update

I have finally made the move to try subbing in central during the week and so I'm currently residing with the parents again....well, until Friday when I go back to my own residence for the weekend and decide what to do for the following week. So far there have been no calls, but I just got here tonight and was told that I'd be added to the list today so I guess that means tomorrow is the first day I could potentially expect a call. We shall see what happens...I am thinking I had best get myself prepared to go to work just in case.

My second national TV appearance (insignificant though it may be) is set to air tomorrow night (I'll be in the background on R.O.D, if you haven't guessed) and I will be singing with my choir on Saturday, provided I can make it back to town in time for the dress rehearsal Friday night.

The 34 year old has moved to the front of the dating candidates pack. I'm not sure when I will be meeting him, but I'm hoping it will be in the near future (which he has also said...but he has yet to ask me and I'll be damned if I ask him first). I think it's important to find out whether there is any attraction/chemistry/interest in person before too long rather than converse indefinitely and have no idea...that makes it a little pointless and false in my opinion, as you can't fake or force that stuff - it's either there or it isn't. We do seem to be in agreement on a lot of things that would make him a good candidate to possibly build something meaningful with, but that's all very much dependent on what happens (or doesn't happen) after we've met.

...and that's my life in a nutshell this evening, as far as I can tell...

Theatre, Choir, and Republic of Doyle

Just a quick post before bed (so please forgive me if there are any errors or it otherwise doesn't read well)...

Updates on my life: I found out yesterday that I have managed to land one of the more significant roles in the local theatre's upcoming production, and I went to the last choir rehearsal before our Olympic torch relay performance tonight.

Update on TV-land: I am happy to say that episode 4 hooked me within a couple of minutes and kept me interested until the end. Yay! They got it right! I thought there was an excellent dose of intensity and suspense in the mix tonight. Rose was great, I was glad to see (what felt like, at least) considerably less of Tinny (her appearances were an enhancement rather than a drawback for me this time...the whole less is more thing, I guess...), and I enjoyed seeing a little more of the constable's sassy side (although I wasn't a fan of what seemed to be a blatant come-on to Jake when she she asked him on the phone what he was willing to do to get a look at her files...that was taking it a smidge too far this early in the game for my taste). I must admit I was wondering for a bit where the pregnancy line was going...I wavered from buying that the test was Nikki's to speculating who else's it could have been (I briefly thought perhaps it may have been Tinny's). I'm glad the writer(s) decided not to make Jake a daddy right now, however I was not a fan of the very last few moments that ended the episode. I can't quite put my finger on what spoiled it for me at present, but something certainly did. My partner happened to comment that all the slang is going to confuse the rest of Canada, though (personally I think if might do them good to get a good dose of colourful speech to try and decipher), and I have to say that the split screen shots are annoying as crap. I'm not sure what the issue is, but every time they show one the volume goes wonky (or at least it does on our TV when we watch it).