Something a little bizarre happened to me over the weekend...my ex's ex (who I do not know) contacted me on facebook. This would be the ex I left in BC and his ex would be the woman I thought he had married (apparently they were never married and it was a bit of a hoax/trial period thing that had been her idea...which I think is a little strange, but whatever).
Anyway, for some reason this woman felt the need to regale me with the details of their relationship and all her complaints about him...it really means nothing to me, but it was interesting to hear someone else's take on him nonetheless. What did piss me off a bit, though, was that he has apparently been telling people he is broke because he paid for my university and that he broke up with me because I wanted more commitment and he wouldn't give it. Um...yeah...about that...total BS....x1000. I did feel the need to set her straight there, although she said she was inclined to believe it was all the other way around with the way he had behaved with her and she totally understood why I had moved across the country...
I was also a little shocked about his behaviour - apparently he fought with her in front of her son - which is totally not cool - and took pot shots at her weight and her business when they broke up, among other things. Wow. It all made me even more glad I'm totally distanced from it all and that I handled myself with dignity and class throughout that break up, no matter what he has chosen to do or say. I mean, I'm not a saint by any means, but I think I conducted myself well, considering, and I didn't exactly go blabbing about all the skeletons I found in his closet or anything like that.
I think I should mention here for fairness sake that I don't by any means take this woman's words to be the gospel (after all, I don't know her at all and can't vouch for her character)...I'm sure the truth lies somewhere between her version and his version - which I really don't care to get - and that he does have his good points (obviously, or neither of us would have given him a chance).
I was a little concerned that perhaps our mutual friends had been fed BS as well (I've avoided talking to them about anything concerning him or us), but one of those friends put my mind at ease when I mentioned that I'd heard from his ex and she had told me some untruths he had said about me/our relationship. She (the mutual friend) informed me that my ex has actually separated from all but one of our mutual friends for the most part, and that people are getting fed up with him and his victim mentality.
So I guess my silence didn't really have an effect either way...it just allowed him to show himself for what he was without me saying a word. Much more effective. I just hope the one friend he still has regular contact with isn't being taken advantage of...but that's not my business either. She's a grown woman and if that is the case she needs to figure it out and put a stop to it herself without warnings or interference from me.
And even more strange...I was right when I thought I may have taught this woman's son (the ex's ex). She told me she had met me when I was subbing in his class last year (I'd been in there for a couple of weeks). Strange coincidence to wrap my head around, indeed.
Yep, the universe works in mysterious ways. This woman answered questions for me that I had long since given up on having answered without my even asking...and she further confirmed that I never knew him, despite the close to 6 years we spent together and that I had been even more naive and gullible than I had previously come to realize. Scary thoughts. But, again - here's to learning and growing...and good riddance to bad rubbish! I don't wish the man harm (in fact I hope he smartens up and does alright for himself and finds happiness), but I am so, so, so thankful he is no longer a part of my life. A very big thank you to all the forces that pulled me out of that situation, for sure!