From the tag of a Yogi Tea teabag: "Know your own worth and act with wisdom" - yep, I hear ya Yogi Tea...loud and clear!!! It's been a long journey, but I think I'm getting there. Thank you for the reminder. Much appreciated.
From an episode of Family Guy (Lois speaking to Meg about her sister Carol): "She has such low self-esteem that every time a man shows her the slightest glimmer of attention she rushes into something serious and gets her heart broken like a teenage girl." - Uh huh, uh huh...I hear ya Lois! That pretty much sums up my first two relationships! Let's hope the confidence and self-esteem stays where it should and I don't suffer from that particular affliction again! Thank you for the reminder. Much appreciated.
And finally, a little bit of a story for you...
I sat with a gay guy outside of Dusk for a bit over the weekend. As I smoked my cigarette, he was texting and ranting about a guy he was supposed to be meeting who said he was outside of Dusk and who neither of us saw hide nor hair of..."What does he look like?" I asked. "I don't know," he replied. "Have you ever met him before?" I asked. "Uh uh," he replied, "but I hope he shows up soon - I'm freezing my ass off here! I hate when guys stand me up. What a douche!" ...oh yes, Mr. Gay Guy (who's name I never got and wish I had) - I HEAR YOU. LOUD AND CLEAR. So comforting somehow to know that even gay guys have to contend with guys being jerks. Thank you for venting to me and giving me a feeling of solidarity. Much appreciated.
Sorry to hear about your latest setback BG – we can be such jerks - and I won’t patronize you by saying something like hang it there, someone is bound to come along or it’s always darkest before the dawn, but...well you know. And your friends do mean well - at least I hope so. If not, get new friends:)
ReplyDeleteAs for the universe throwing you those messages; a caveat. I also experienced a similar situation – difficult break up – and everything I heard on the radio or saw on TV reminded me of her or us. I was convinced the play list of the local radio station picked songs specifically with me in mind. I’m sure reading the back of a cereal box reminded me of her. Come to think of it…two scoops of raison bran…she had two eyes - my god, it’s everywhere. But - and this is not meant to sound condescending - it does get better. Those messages have always been there and will continue to be there when this passes, and eventually you won’t notice them. In the interim, if it helps and words of wisdom speak to you from a bumper sticker or bubble gum wrapper, run with it - it worked for me.
And when you stop noticing those messages, and eventually you will, all is truly well.
Thank you Chris. I needed that smile :) It's been a rough few days emotionally due to romantic, work, and financial issues (well, life in general, really), but I am overcoming the weakness and feeling stronger again bit by bit. It's such a rollercoaster ride and I'm such a sucker for punishment. I actually found I couldn't quite terminate contact cold turkey and talked to the latest guy a couple of times since...but despite how great he was before, he is now showing me that he is no longer worth my time. I could torture myself with questions and ponderings, but there is really no point. His actions speak louder than his words and that's the bottom line. It sucks and it's so lonely when you have so much to give and there's no one who interests you and no one who is up to par with receiving and reciprocating (as this guy was and no longer is), but that's life I suppose. I'm sort of bouncing back and forth from hope and faith to cynicism and despair, but I'm sure you're right - it will eventually get better...
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